American Hustle (2013)

He’s on some Scorsese shit. I set expectations low because dir. David O Russell’s last thing was like meh tbh imho smh but then lovable crooks and an undercover fed and everyone is hustling everyone with their fake loans and fake promises and fake marriages and then there is the mafia but it all makes and there is music that fits like magic and the acting is so good and and and movie? movie, I think I love you! IT FEELS SO GOOD TO LOVE (((o(*゚▽゚*)o)))

PLOT: 4.5 out of 5.0


The American law enforcement industry and the disgusting competition of individual egos involved in its subjective mechanics of justice is really entertaining because it’s movie. Also, disgusting, so I’m glad ████ ██ and ██ ████████, ████████ ███ and ███████████ in the end.

SYMBOLISM: 4.0 out of 5.0


Jennifer Lawrence. Is wife. And hot. And crazy. And she keeps making this weak blunt metaphor about perfumed nail polish like a mantra. You have to see it. There’s this scene where she irons to Live and Let Die and I no longer want to wife her because it is sooooooo…I’ve said too much.

AMOUNT OF INEXPLICABLE ATTRACTION TO FAT OLD CHRISTIAN BALE WITH HORRIBLE COMBOVER THAT I AM WILLING TO ADMIT PUBLICLY: 1.5 out of 5.0
  

I’m lying. I don’t want to talk about it. Charisma and shit.

Minimalist review: Marina Galperina
Minimalist graphics: Nate Cepis
More: All Minimalist Film Reviews