I have a cat named Annie Clark. Looking into her eyes is like staring into the void. I’m pretty sure she’s never had a thought. These are the top things she definitely didn’t think about this year. (Note: To the real Annie Clark, I’m sorry we named such a dumb cat after you. Your new song is great.)

1) THE NSA

“What is leak? What does Prism? I eat bag.”

2) WHO WAS OFFENDED BY MILEY CYRUS

“Is twerk for bite?”

3) BANGLADESH 

“What is sad?”

4) THE PHILIPPINES 

“Water? Like Toilet? I drink?”

5) IRAN’S POSSIBLE NUCLEAR BOMBS

“Bomb shiny?”

6) IS JOURNALISM DEAD?

“I is in book. Many book.”

7) RUSSIA’S PERSECUTION OF THE GAYS

“So sleep. Why u wake, Russia?”

8) LOU REED’S DEATH 

“Underground is where rat. I love rat.”

9) BREAKING BAD FINALE 

“Who is TV? What is watch? How? Why?”

10) THE CONTINUING DECAY OF OUR SOCIETY INTO A CYBER-DYSTOPIA 

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