And now, for the greatest news story of the day. Smoking Gun reports:

A domestic dispute over space aliens escalated Saturday morning when a lingerie-clad New Mexico woman allegedly pointed a silver handgun at her boyfriend, a weapon she retrieved from her vagina, where it had been placed while the accused was performing a sex act, police allege.

The woman, Jennifer McCarthy, is Cormac McCarthy’s ex-wife. After arguing with her boyfriend about aliens, McCarthy left the house, returned, went to her bedroom, and came out in lingerie. She masturbated with the gun for a while, as upset people are wont to do, then pulled it out of her vagina and pointed it at her boyfriend’s head.

McCarthy said, “Who is crazy, you or me?” while having “inner course” with the gun, according to the police report, which you can read in its entirety here. Try getting that image out of your head.