Jael and Jan Sanchez, two 20-year identical twin brothers, finished a neck-and-neck race for New York City’s biggest dummy in a dual arrest over the weekend.

Jael was stopped in his car Sunday morning, and attempted to hide some weed in his waistband during the stop. When cops saw the herb, they searched Sanchez and found $24,000 in Target and Visa gift cards as well as 14 forget credit cards in the car. The cops arrested him, and at the precinct, he offered them 10 grand in exchange for his release and the return of his stuff. They declined.

Then, Jael called his brother for some help. Undeterred by the police’s previous refusal, Jan Sanchez brought $4,000 in cash to the precinct and offered that up. The cops declined again, and charged both twins with bribery of a public servant.

The moral of the story: if you’re going to take your absurdly large stash of gift cards in the car with you, don’t bring the weed as well. Also: New York City cops, as crooked as they may sometimes be, apparently don’t take kindly to bribing.

(Photo: 401(k) 2013/Flickr)