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Kim Kardashian’s Friend Won’t Make Me Smoke These Stupid “Vitamin-Infused” Nicotine-Free e-Cigarettes

Get ready to see more aggressive advertising from VitaCig, that stupid electronic cigarette that doesn’t even have nicotine in it. Some reality TV person called Jonathan Cheban “best known as close friend to Kim Kardashian” just signed on as a “brand ambassador.”

Unlike traditional “e-cigs” which offer a remorseful cigarette consumers the delusion that it’s healthy to sit around sucking on a nicotine-spurting gadget all day, VitaCig contains no such fix. No tar either. Instead, it offers puffs of flavored vapor in annoying varieties like “citrus, mint, blueberry with black currant, green tea with vanilla bean and mint with cherry” paired with alleged small doses of vitamins A, B1, C, E and Coenzyme Q10, which is like, really trendy right now.

People trying to smoke things that do not need to be smoked. Unlike powdered alcohol, there is no reason for this. Hit a hookah. Get some candy. Eat a fucking fruit. Many actual vitamins need to be consumed with food or pass directly through our digestive system to be absorbed. This thing is a gimmick, like dumping vitamins into super sugary breakfast cereals, or worse, those 50,000% Vitamin C supplements. (Vitamin C is water soluble and you will piss out any extra you’re not using, which you won’t need anyway unless you’re a sailor who has just spent months at sea in the 1600s.) And Vitamin E is fat soluble anyway, which means they’re negligibly absorbed unless VitaCig is including butter in that vape. Brb patenting vitamin E-infused dabs.