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Viagra Induces “Fractal Growth” In Mushrooms


May 14, 2014 | Marina Galperina

According to research published in the Cloning & Evolution issue of the Annals of Improbable ResearchViagra makes more mushrooms!

Specifically, chemical ingestion of the synthetic boner enhancer compound Sildenafil shows “a significant growth increase as expressed by the numerical density” in “phallus-like” Boletaceae mushrooms. The “fractal” growth means that while this induces the growth of denser mushrooms and greater numbers, they’re actually less complex and more regular in structure. They are also smaller.

The pharmacological compound Sildenafil has been shown to treat the male erectile dysfunction “impotentia erigendi ” by inhibiting a set of c-Phospodiesterase-5 enzymes, what in turn intensifies the blood afflux into the “corpora cavernosa”, filling them up to turgidity leading to penis erection. (Dunzendorfer 2004). Mushrooms of Boletaceae family including the Boletus edulis type, mostly display a phallus-like morphology formed by a stalk and a cap (pileus) whose extent and consistency may be influenced by various environmental agents, including growth factors and complex molecules such as polyphenols and other natural antioxidants… Some analogies were noticed between Sildenafil and the chemical structure of natural polyphenols, flavonoids and many other cyclic compounds as rosmarinic acid abundant in macro-fungi, which exhibited an antioxidant free-radical scavenging activity.

The “analogies” between Viagra and mushrooms occur because nature is very lazy and reuses structures. Boletaceae mushrooms were chosen for the study specifically because they look like dicks. Just like humans get high from shooting up with a poppy flower intended for clotting up wounds, a mushroom’s growth can be fucked with something that we use to get our dicks up. Everything is a coincidence. And nothing is a coincidence. (Image: WikiCommons)