Hey guys, you can stop looking for the dumbest story of the week, because we found it. It’s in the New York Daily News today, and it’s about a sailor in town for Fleet Week who was refused entrance to the Top of the Standard because she was wearing her naval outfit.

Pretty much everything about this story is terrible: On Saturday night, the sailor, who wished to remain anonymous, and her friends tried to go to the Meatpacking District’s Standard hotel. The Standard’s rooftop bar is a faux-swanky tourist trap where assholes pretend to be cultured while eating french fries. It has a dress code, and the sailor’s friends were wearing cocktail attire. The bouncer, who was doing his job of refusing entry to people who do not meet the dress code, turned the sailor away, because naval whites are not cocktail attire.

So her friends threw a shit-fit and whined to the Daily News, who went along with it. One of her cool pals, Ryan O’Connor, a 32-year-old tech consultant, had this to say: “I was wearing a $400 blazer and dress shoes. We were all dressed nice. The only person sticking out was the Navy officer.” The Daily News has a photo of Ryan O’Connor, so you can judge for yourself whether he fits the chic, exclusive vibe the Standard wants to cultivate.

“We were all shocked and upset,” he said. “This was Memorial Day weekend and walking distance from Ground Zero. This should have been a no-brainer.” Also within 2.2 miles from Ground Zero: Katz’s Delicatessen, 169 Bar, the famine memorial, and several Pret a Mangers.

The Standard’s management has apologized and offered to “take care” of her and her friends next time.

Look, they could have let her in. If I was the bouncer, I probably would have. But this sense that a serviceperson is automatically entitled to go wherever and do whatever they want and deserves preferential treatment is gross to me. This sailor herself doesn’t seem to have it; she’s probably embarrassed about the attention, and would have let it go in the moment if Ryan O’Connor hadn’t made a big deal about it. You can just visualize this dude’s indignation and the bouncer’s “just doing my job” indifference, right? It was probably like that scene in Knocked Up.

Anyway, don’t go to the Standard, it sucks.

(Photo: U.S. Navy)