Courtroom Controversies, Starring Cats

12.06.10 Lauri Apple

Two weird stories in the NY Post involve cats, New Jersey, NYC, and the law. Just one more and we could have a trend on our hands (which are covered with bites and scratches!).

In the first story, a brand bullshitting consultant is suing his ex-girlfriend for allegedly removing all his stuff from his apartment–including his two dogs–and getting his cat euthanized while he was in Hawaii working with popular American recording artist Kanye West (also known as “‘Ye”). The ex-gf reportedly went ahead and stored some of the dude’s stuff in New Jersey, and also sent his dogs (including one that he rescued from a Hungarian hooker, which is somehow important to the story) to Washington state. She’s also suing him, for slander. The ex-gf didn’t give any comments to the Post, which might be why the paper’s on the guy’s side.

In the other case, a woman from New Jersey is suing McSorley’s Old Ale House in the East Village claiming the bar’s cat seriously injured her in October 2009. The bar owner doesn’t remember any of this happening. Neither the woman nor her lawyer provided a comment to the Post, which might be why the paper’s on the bar’s side.

What can we learn from these two tragedies? Three things:

1. Don’t date anybody.
2. Don’t let people from New Jersey drink at your ale house.
3. We need to start teaching cats how to talk, so they can put humans in their place when needed.

This cat wasn’t involved in either story–it’s just a neat-looking cat. Kind of resembles David Bowie during his Aladdin Sane period. (Photo: Ihasb33r/flickr)