Holy Shit, I Just Smoked Fake Weed

03.29.12 Bucky Turco

It’s called Scooby Snax Potpuurri and basically goes against every nature of my being. From its psychedelic-silly packaging to the fake ass buds inside and even the demographic that supports this crap, so called “synthetic marijuana” represents the antithesis to my soul. But since New York banned it today, I decided to be a bit of an outlaw and smoke some.

I copped a batch easy enough at my local bodega. The guy behind the counter told me “It’s better than smoking real weed.” C’mon, I said. Do people really buy this shit. “I sell 500 a week,” he responded. Fuck it, I dropped $8 for a 4 gram packet. At around 2pm, I packed the bowl-piece and fired up the bong. I assumed it would be like smoking Nag Champa, but it was surprisingly mild. As is the high. And I did like four hits. Now, I know this isn’t the premo K2 or Spice brands that have been responsible for making teens faint, but I can’t imagine those being much different.

I’m happy to report that I’ve yet to experience nausea, acute renal failure, death or any of the other symptoms the media and now politicians are claiming it causes despite any empirical evidence or studies. So far, the only side effect I feel is stupidity, for even thinking this crap would work or was worth trying.