Medical Science Proves New Yorkers Are Superior

12.28.11 Bucky Turco

Researchy types have come up with a very rational justification for why we choose to live in overpriced, closet-sized habitats detached from nature: It makes us live longer. That’s right America, New Yorkers tend to cheat death by 2.4 years compared to the rest of the country.

Not surprisingly, Mayor Bloomberg and company are taking credit for this good news and using it to tout all the oppressive measures they’ve enacted to supposedly make residents healthier, but everyone knows it’s the toxins that make us so resilient. (Photo: Reddit)