Putin Relates to a Magical Python on Live TV

12.16.11 Marina Galperina

BANDERLOG Just when you thought that Hermain Cain’s presidential race drop-out speech quoting the Pokémon movie was the craziest shit you’ve ever seen… In Russia, Prime Minister Putin has just quoted the Jungle Book to call opposition “Bandar-log” ’cause he’s the motherfucking python!

When asked something about the mass nationwide protests and the unprecedented display of citizen opposition after Russia’s spectacularly fraudulent parliamentary elections, the PM gave this little speech. With a Mowgli analogy. Also, something about all protestors being spies?

“One must be respectful of all our citizens, even of those who have no perception of power in principle. However, there are people, who have a passport of a Russian Federation’s citizen but act in the interests of foreign states and on foreign money. We shall seek to establish contact with them as well. This is often useless and impossible to do. What we can say to them in such a case? ‘Come to me, banderlogs!’ … I’ve loved Kipling’s stories since my childhood.”

And then he giggled, because the implications that the ever powerful although suddenly unpopular politician who considers any social dissent an invasion of evil cartoon monkeys with “foreign interests” whose will he can defeat with his super powers of hypnosis (and dancing) is so funny. Ha. Haha. Oy.

I now propose “Come at me bro!” to be henceforth replaced with “Come at me bandarlogs!”