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Warning: PENIS! (Once you click that play button.) Then, a solid 22 very explicit seconds of “Charlotte Gainsbourg” getting vigorously DP’ed, and various fluids spurting from various orifices and whipped body parts. So now we know what that hour and a half of extra scenes in Lars Von Trier’s Nymph()maniac: Vol. I and Vol. II director’s cut are made of. And what “the […]

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Performance artist Marina Abramović wants to make a movie with provoc-auteur Lars Von Trier because he’s “the most disturbing director in (sic) this planet.” That does pass as flattery. Abramović is putting together an anthology film called Seven Deaths which will chronicle the demise of seven different heroines from famous operas. She wants a different director for each […]

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Nymph()maniac: Vol. I, Nymph()maniac: Vol. II (2013) Lars Von Trier’s latest is a long, long story about a girl named Joe who embraces her nymphomania through an endless variety and monotony of overlapping sexual experiences. For our entertainment. DIRECTIONS: After digesting Antichrist and Melancholia, apply Vol. I and Vol. II directly to eyes in quick succession, unless ArtForum is paying […]

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Believe it or not, being thrust into a parasitic relationship with a tiny helpless human is not the end of life as you know it. At noon on Wednesday, March 26th, some movie-loving breeders of New York City have the option of seeing Lars Von Trier’s Nymphomaniac Volume 1 — with their babies! The special lunchtime “Rattle & Reel” […]

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Did you think I’d miss that Fight Club-y split-second slit shot? C’mon, Lars von Trier. Update: YouTube took it down. Vimeo above. Tsk-tsk. After teasing with orgasm face character posters and pre-treatises of this film-thing he allegedly invented called Digressionism, von Trier dropped the Nymphomaniac trailer today. Unlike those almost abstract vignettes of debauchery, this is a very non-experimental trailer, pounding you […]

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The softcore cut of Lars Von Trier’s highly-anticipated five hour explicit sex movie featuring celebrity actors and porn double CGI-mash-ups having explicit sex is being released in Denmark and Norway on Christmas and coming in hardcore all over Cannes Film Festival in 2014. So here are some new Nymphomaniac character posters. They are sexual. Should be intellectually […]

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Oh look, it’s an actual clip of Lars Von Trier’s highly-anticipated new movie Vagina Emoticon. If you were hoping for a preview of that cutting-edge technology that will morph-mesh porn-star-fuck-bits and Charlotte-Gainsbourg-Shia-LaBeouf-Uma-Thurman-heads into a glorious CGI orgy of sexual cynicism, moral subjectivity and whatever the opposite of Dogma film is BUT NO. Here’s a disappointingly SFW […]

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Lars von Trier’s hotly anticipated two-part epic Nymphomaniac did not make it to Cannes because they weren’t ready. They — parts of Charlotte Gainsbourg, Shia LaBeouf, Uma Thurman, and various fucking pornstars — were still being rendered together into a seamless, hardcore celebrity experience. Producer Louise Vesth explains: We shot the actors pretending to have sex and then had […]

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Shia LaBeouf’s done shooting pretend snuff and showing you his penis, so it’s only natural he would consider jumping aboard part three of Lars von Trier’s Antichrist + Melancholia + Nymphomaniac trilogy. […]

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Antichrist director Lars Von Trier mentioned making porn mid his unfortunate blah-blah at Cannes. So, it’s actually happening. Shooting next summer, Nymphomaniac will have two versions — soft- and hardcore. […]

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