It would pretty awesome if that was Morris Charney, but it apparently isn’t (here’s a pic of him [scroll down] from 2008). I’m guessing that’s maybe Lovey Dovey’ oldest assembly line worker at his L.A. manufacturing plant. Or it’s just some random constipated man Dov found sitting in a park feeding pigeons. At least he’s not showing ass crack.

This is a fucking trade ad hawking AA’s t-shirt manufacturing model ad that ran last fucking month, according to their press center. Reads the copy:

…we are a socialist-capitalist fusion, looking out for everyone touched by our business practices.

Which includes, I guess, all the AA models touched by one of Dov’s dildos which he reported gives out as partial payment for sessions. Fuck if I know where this ad actually ran. But the word “fuck” does look pretty awesome in Helvetica.

I highly doubt that any of the women who submitted ass photos were forced to do so. Their significant others (see, I didn’t even say “boyfriends”) may have encouraged them to enter the contest, but so what? Isn’t that what you want the men in our lives to do? To compliment and appreciate our bodies for what they are? Maybe it just so happened that all of those girls had bangin’ booties, just asking for a good slap.

I read my fair share of Bust Magazine, and like it even! I believe, adamantly, that abortion should be legalized. I love Babeland! I totally, and completely, support a woman’s right to be double-teamed in a pornographic film, for my masturbating pleasure, complete with mascara running down her soft face. I am not down with inequality, but give me a fucking break. You’re going to get all riled up because some guy with a chimo ‘stache asked people (as far as I know, it was an open call to all genders) to send in snapshots of their donks? Don’t you think that there are more important platforms and issues that you could be supporting/protesting right now?

Feminists claim that they’re promoting the sexualization and objectification of women, but have you seen American Apparel’s ads lately? All of the girls look like they’re coming off of 17 week long benders, full of semen (you know, in the bad way), and forced ironic sass. In other words, they look beat. If anything, the other AA should have an issue with the advertisements, seeing as when you consume massive quantities of liquor, you could wake up to people who think they look good like this.

P.S.- Yo, Dov! I want to be the next ad disaster. I’ll even let you shoot it on my deep-vee-less bosom. Get at me.

It’s Pantytime at American Apparel! Yes, their annual sale on unmentionables goes through this Sunday; you’ve probably eyed a web banner ad or two trumpeting it. What you may not have seen is this panty promo video starring Debbie, Danielle, and Kimbra, all probably less than half the age of the 41-year-old AA CEO.

You can even visualize the exact moment at the end of the clip when Dov’s worm probably burped, as the photographer coaxes a seductive “Hey Dov” out of the girls while they all display ass crack through the see-thru undies. Charney, as most of you know, likes to masturbates in front of women, the most famous incident of which was with Jane magazine (RIP) writer Claudine Ko. Said the man:

Masturbation in front of women is underrated. It’s much easier on the woman. She gets to watch, it’s a sensual experience that doesn’t involve a man violating a woman, yet once the man has his release, it’s over and you can talk to the guy.

Below is a previous AA panty video (NSFW) Dov has flogged the dolphin to. With his sales in the shitter these days, he’s probably holding several daily one-man staff meetings.

No one objectifies women for a good cause better than American Apparel. But don’t take my word for it, go look for yourselves. |StyleCrave|

Earlier this morning, American Apparel settled a $5 million lawsuit with Woody Allen for a series of billboards that depicted the pint-sized filmmaker without his permission. This comes after months spent preparing a holey defense that the Allen’s scandalous marriage had sullied his image too much to be worth the damages he sued for. More recently, Dov Charney chimed in to remind people this was really a first amendment issue.

The billboards and images from the Annie Hall movie were intended to be a parody/social statement and comedic satire to provoke discussion and public discourse about the baseless claims that had been made against American Apparel and myself, society’s reaction to lawsuits that delve into an individual’s private sexual life and the media’s sensationalism of such matters.

While Charney still thinks they had a good case, his legal defense evidently realized the distinction between free and commercial speech, so they agreed to pay out half of the $10 million dollars Woody was demanding.

I have not made personal comments to the press in the last few months because of the impending trial of this case. However, during the last month, numerous inaccurate reports have appeared in the media which have created misperceptions I feel compelled to correct. The media has misinformed the public that American Apparel supposedly plans to make Woody Allen’s personal life the central focus of our defense. This is false. It has also been reported that American Apparel intends to call Mia Farrow or Soon Yi as witnesses in the upcoming trial. This also is false.

I have deep respect for Mr. Allen who is a source of inspiration to me. The billboards and images from the Annie Hall movie were intended to be a parody/social statement and comedic satire to provoke discussion and public discourse about the baseless claims that had been made against American Apparel and myself, society’s reaction to lawsuits that delve into an individual’s private sexual life and the media’s sensationalism of such matters.

The false media reportage is an obfuscation of the key issue in the case, which is whether the use of an image from the film Annie Hall, depicting Mr. Allen as the character Alvi Singer, for purposes of evoking a societal discussion about these issues is protected by the First Amendment.

In Hustler Magazine, Inc. v. Falwell, The Supreme Court of the United States unanimously proclaimed: “At the heart of the First Amendment is the recognition of the fundamental importance of the free flow of ideas and opinions on matters of public interest and concern. The freedom to speak one’s mind is not only an aspect of individual liberty – and thus a good unto itself – but also is essential to the common quest for truth and the vitality of society as a whole. We have therefore been particularly vigilant to ensure that individual expressions of ideas remain free from governmentally imposed sanctions.”

Photo of Dov Charney by Dov Charney

Despite the fact he’s suing them for millions of dollars, American Apparel loves Woody Allen. After all, that is why they put him on their billboards without permission in the first place. Still, the LA clothing manufacturer remains firm, claiming that Allen’s image isn’t worth all the money he’s asking for, especially not after his scandalous marriage to Soon-Yi Previn, the adopted daughter of his former girlfriend, Mia Farrow.

Earlier this week, new court papers were filed indicating Dov Charney’s legal team is set to prove that “Mr. Allen is not an appropriate person to discuss any value of any endorsement.” In addition to documents on his relationship with Previn, possibly including nude photos, their evidence includes Mia Farrow’s 1997 memoir which claims Allen couldn’t remember the names of pets, doctors, teachers and friends, or the fact that their son had cerebral palsy.

Gothamist obtained an internal memo from American Apparel that claims the billboards were “intended to be a social statement not an ad” about “what media scandal feels like and how quickly the truth gets lost,” which boils down to the clothing company starting a new conflict to deal with an old one, Dov Charney’s sexual harassment lawsuits. The memo also denies requesting nude photos of Soon-Yi Previn and then goes on to describe Charney’s love for Allen and good intentions in using his image without asking, which probably doesn’t carry much weight when the case goes to trial on May 18th.

Photo of American Apparel model Natasha Komis and Dov Charney from Jezebel and photo of Woody Allen and Soon-Li Previn from Zimbio