It’s only going to cost you half a thousand, no biggie. At the Dec 1-2 Julien’s Hollywood memorabilia auction, they’re selling all kinds of stupid crap — teenage pre-Marilyn Monroe bikini pics, a Law & Order dead foam rubber body with body bag, an Edward Scissorhands prop robot from the cookie factory scene at Vincent Price’s lab oh wait what oh my god oh my god gimme! Also, the costumes from The Big Lebowski, from the Dude’s casual bathrobe ensemble to Julian Moore’s frilly swingerie. Ready to thoroughly authenticate that role play, sexy nerds?
Today in ridiculous auction news, a 132-year-old, two-by-three-inch tintype of exaggerated outlaw Billy the Kid was purchased for $2.3 million plus fees at the 22nd Annual Old West Show & Auction in Denver… by a Koch. Read more »
Unless you’re excited by lots of olde tyme bottles, June 15 Fine Glass Crap auction at Bonhams is zzzzz. They do have this unusually fancy, monogrammed glass in a gilded, red-leather carrying case. Its origins “circumstantially” yet “strongly suggest” it was Napoleon’s. It will run you $3K-$5K. Perfect for sipping very old shipwrecked champagne — recently bought by an anonymous internet bidder for $78K — or ornately disguising your alcoholism.
Ireland wins! This auction item is crazier than Marilyn’s vag-bones sprinkled with Elvis hair wrapped in a Unabomber sweatshirt. A rotting skull of St Vitalis of Assisi is being auctioned next weekend. Young Vitty over here was a licentious fuck-a-lot deviant who repented, became a Benedictine monk, was venerated as the patron saint of venereal diseases and has been sitting in a display case in someone’s hallway. Read more »
Yesterday, Christie’s Rockfeller Center salesroom “booed and hissed, applauded and laughed” in an “epic 16 minute bidding battle” for Andy Warhol’s Self-Portrait, 1963-64. Oh journalists, I do declare, that sounds most riveting indeed… but looks kinda womp womp on video. Hmm. Maybe I’m spoiled after that Orgy of the Rich at Sotheby’s. Anywho, some proper person took home Mr. Photo Booth Mug for $38.4 million because Andy’s still hot hot hot. Will New Yorkers ever stop worshiping Warhol? Judging by the sacrificial pile of Campbell’s Tomato Soup cans at the feet of his chrome monument in Union Square, neve-e-e-e-er.
Art Bikes: Ai Weiwei’s Smashed Hollander, Damien Hirst’s Rainbow
Neither Ai Weiwei’s symbolically crushed bike nor Damien Hirst’s festive disaster on wheels appears fit to ride, but both are for sale. Come to think of it, maybe it would be fun to straddle that neon-splattered Hirstcycle around town. Maybe Hirst should give up art and take on painting modes of transportation full time? Read more »
Anthony Caro’s giant steel sculpture Lagoon failed to sell at a recent Bonhams auction in London, likely because Caro publicly boohooed the little stumpy legs wielded into it as a mutilation: “It’s like adding a tail onto an animal painted by Picasso. It’s ridiculous.” Read more »
Heritage Auctions is selling production proofs from a 1939, first-ever Batman comic book. Pages 2-6 will go for $1,000+ each. Such swell “luck” that someone found them in the trash in 1975! Well, not in the trash… in a trunk full of DC stuff. It was left by some random guy on the curb for trash pick-up, by a building in Rego Parks, Queens… Well, maybe not a completely random guy, since Bob Kane lived in that building at some point. No, it’s not suspicious at all.
I’m taking my Picasso rants back. Seems like his fave musetress Marie-Thérèse Walter is still very significant. Another Picasso portrait of the gal is up for auction at Christie’s next month, expecting to fetch $19-$29 million – no where near the $106 million record breaker last year or $85 million in 2006 (which would have been $139 million, had drunk Vegas casino owner Steve Wynn not elbowed a hole into it) – but still relevant. So, ladies. What do we learn from this? Next time someone famous trollops up to you with the line “I am Picasso So-and-so! You and I are going to do great things together,” consider it. Worst case scenario: You’re blowing some creepster out of a trashcan with a tiara on your head.
The much hyped Bonhams Urban Art Sale went over well, selling 39 out of 50 lots and $coring predictably big with a $121k Banksy, zzz. Eine’s piece cashed in on twice its high estimate at a little over $10K, which might have had something to do with him being an Obama’s White House street artist. See the rest of the auction results here.
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