Hey, badass. Looking for a romantical gift? How about his and hers Bonnie and Clyde guns, seized at the outlaw couple’s Joplin hideout in 1933 after a shootout. The rare weapons are going up for auction in Kansas City this month.

The 45-caliber, fully automatic Thompson submachine “Tommy” gun and 1897 Winchester 12-gauge shotgun have been festering unappreciated at some police museum until now. The owners — descendants of cops involved in the raid — want the new owner to be someone who appreciates historic weapons and the Bonnie & Clyde crime fable. Not sure what practical use these could serve, aside from quirky, morbid foreplay, so here you go, lovebirds:

It’s only going to cost you half a thousand, no biggie. At the Dec 1-2 Julien’s Hollywood memorabilia auction, they’re selling all kinds of stupid crap — teenage pre-Marilyn Monroe bikini pics, a Law & Order dead foam rubber body with body bag, an Edward Scissorhands prop robot from the cookie factory scene at Vincent Price’s lab oh wait what oh my god oh my god gimme! Also, the costumes from The Big Lebowski, from the Dude’s casual bathrobe ensemble to Julian Moore’s frilly swingerie. Ready to thoroughly authenticate that role play, sexy nerds?

Since #OccupyWallSt is growing from being a hippie protest to a Populist movement and spilling into cities nationwide, it’s inevitable that the institution of art selling and speculation will be confronted as well.

The protestors from #OccupyWallSt have already crashed a Sotheby’s auction in solidarity with the locked-out art handlers and then there’s the Occupennial.

Then there’s @OccupyArtWorld, an anonymous baby of an internet presence, but its targeting art world all-stars already:

@jerrysaltz Is job security more important to you and your wife than helping out #occupywallstreet? This is the movement you’ve wanted.

Ooh, this one is good:

Art schools have become entertainment factories for the 1%. Brothels of culture. #occupyartworld #occupywallstreet

Now, let’s see that manifesto!

UPDATE: Oh, here comes the opposition to the opposition, dubbed @OccupyOccupyArt. Or something… and this one gives out quote-bites upon request and pronto, too:

@mfortki The revolution needs to ferret out the weasels in our midst. The 99% will not be divided. Are you counter revolutionary?

Welcome mete-meme war?

The film was allegedly made in 1946, when young Norma Jean Baker was desperate and without a film contract, Spanish memorabilia collector Mikel Barsa claims, but he couldn’t authenticate it. People will buy any bit or bone of Marilyn’s, but only if it’s the real thing.

Oh, and here it is (NSFW). Fap at your own risk.

Tuesday afternoon, Artnet’s “Urban Scrawl: Graffiti and Street Art” week-long online auction ended, having attracted twice the traffic of its predecessors. Among the hot-ticket items and highlights: the staple bunch of Banksys and Harings, FUTURA’s Untitled for $17,250, Jean-Michel Basquiat’s Cabeza for $19,550 and COPE2′s recently “appropriated” subway sign Church Av Station to Flatbush Av only (2010) sold for $2,530.

It wasn’t one of the notorious overlords Charles and David Koch (worth $21.5 billion), but lil Bill Koch (only worth $3.5 billion). The price of the last surviving, authentic image of Billy the Kid totaled at more than $2.6 million. There are only three more expensive photos in the world.

Even other collectors at the Profiles in History auctions in Beverly Hills admitted that the bid was “totally crazy, especially in this recession,” because buying x-rays of Monroe’s intimate skeletal orifices wasn’t.

Here’s a flirty refresher. If anyone besides Marilyn has ever found the air jetting out of an underground subway system to be “cool,” please raise your hand.

It’s a bargain, estimated at $1100-$1700. Score! Start bidding, America. So what that the GOP is strangling Planned Parenthood funding nationwide? Let’s just buy Captain Crotch-rot’s head and pray at it!

Since 1912 when the Titanic got poked by an iceberg and killed Leonardo Dicaprio, extensive investigation has concluded that “excessive speed” caused the sinking… but if you don’t believe it, go play Sherlock on the ship’s schematics for $160K-$240K.