ANIMAL » Buygone Ad

Kills The Germs And The Sperms!

Copyranter — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 14:49:08 +0000

“Wow honey, before you starting douching with Lysol, your coochie smelled like our dirty toilet bowl. Now, it smells like our clean toilet bowl—going down!” This ad from the late 1940s was part of a sly move by Lehn & Fink to surreptitiously market Lysol as, not just a douche, but a birth control agent (more about that here).

Anyway, the copy here is choice. Note the fake doctor speak:

Thousands of modern wives use it,’ he said, explaining how Lysol makes an effective germ-killing douche and cleanses thoroughly and deodorizes. ‘And Lysol won’t harm sensitive vaginal (!) tissues…just follow directions.’ Oh yes…the happy ending! (!) It’s about US, of course. George is mine again, with lots of (oral) love.

It’s amazing that the word “vaginal” made its way into this ad, and yet today the V word is almost universally a no-no in feminine product ads. The happy ending? George got to bang wifey without a condom without worrying so much about adding another child to the 2.5 they already have. |Image: Vintage Ads|

Buygone Ad: Prudential Life Insurance

Copyranter — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 15:43:22 +0000

Time to bring back a dormant feature here on ANIMAL—The Buygone Ad of the Week. About the evilest advertisers out there are insurance companies—”like a good neighbor” my fucking ass. Would a good neighbor freak me out by placing fake damage stickers on my new car? Such scare tactics are of course the ad strategy of choice for life insurance companies. And since using real people in negative testimonial ads might mean negative press, they all go the fake route. Like this Prudential ad from a 1926 National Geographic. Just look at the look on that fake orphan’s face. And, check out the background fake orphan pathetically batting a piece of garbage with a stick. Or is it a rock? A rock representing the “piece of the rock” evil dead Daddy didn’t buy? Mommy, our porridge has bugs in it! |Image: flickr/Vintage Advertising|

Buygone Ad: Heinz Condensed Soups

Copyranter — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 20:39:08 +0000

Travel back with me, if you will, to the 1950s American dining room. The economy is booming. Every man has a job and no worries except Communism and dinner. You’re a proud housewife who cleans and cooks every blessed day. It’s 6pm. You’ve taken your Ivory soap bath and put on your new yellow chiffon dress and some perfume. It’s time to eat. OK Heinz ad copy, take it from there: “The things women have to put up with. Most husbands, nowadays, have stopped beating their wives, but what can be more agonizing to a sensitive soul than a man’s boredom at meals. Yet, lady, there must be a reason. If your cooking and not your conversation is monotonous, that’s easily fixed…” Yes, lady. You better spice up the conversation and the meal with some scrumptious condensed soup. Otherwise, the agonizing beatings may return. Which won’t be as agonizing as the cause of those beatings—your man’s boredom at meals. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED, LADY.
|Ad: Vintage Advertising| (Click image to enlarge)