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When’s the Last Time This CNN Lady Went Running in Central Park?

CNN correspondent Randi Kaye delivered a sycophantic monologue on Tuesday in support of Mayor Bloomberg’s ridiculous new smoking ban:
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Daily Shows Offers CNN Programming Tips

In last night’s episode of The Daily Show, Jon Stewart and his writers eviscerated CNN for devolving into an entertainment network that pulls content from YouTube and then intersperses it with important news bits that must be voted on to be watched. Their hosts have basically become video bloggers, but worse. Much worse. Read more »

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Anderson Cooper Takes One for the Team

After days of mostly peaceful protests, the arrival of pro-Mubarak “supporters” has led to lots of stone throwing and clashes. Not even CNN’s Anderson Cooper could escape the violence when he and his crew were lightly attacked by “demonstrators” that were either paid to support the Egyptian president or just do it for the love. Read more »

Terror Survivor Rudy Guiliani Talks Elections on CNN

Jesus God, when will news shows stop asking this guy for his dopey opinions? Oh right, never, because he is America’s terror-mayor, and media organizations seem to feel obligated to check in with him to make sure he hasn’t developed abandonment issues. Read more »

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Can CNN Survive Without Rick Sanchez?

Of course it’s a rhetorical question, but it’s no worse than CNN’s Howard Kurtz asking if Rick Sanchez should have been fired on Reliable Sources yesterday, then replaying the anchor’s dopiest clips, all of which, had nothing to do with what actually got him fired, followed by a unilateral discussion of how unhinged the on-air personality was.

BP Close-Ups Now An Arrestable Offense

Can’t take seeing any more photos of BP-tar-balled shores and oil-smothered birds? Not to worry: Now the government, like BP, is barring photographers and reporters from getting within 65 feet of response vessels and booms (where the “action” is). Violators risk getting a $40,000 fine and a class D felony (jail time). |Photo: Charlie Riedel/AP|

Guess Which CNN Reporter Is Getting Ready To Dive Into BP’s Oil?

It’s CNN’s medical correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta. His senior producer, Danielle Dellorto, tweeted the photo of him getting “hazmat trained and drysuit certified,” which can only mean he’s preparing for an oily swim. I wonder if Dow is sponsoring this segment like they did Anderson Cooper’s, seems like a perfect fit.

CNN’s New Environmental Series Sponsored By Environment Destroyer

Jesus Christ, talk about your possible conflicts of interest (click to enlarge). Was this a preemptive move by the world’s third largest chemical company to keep the cable news network and dreamy dirt digger-upper Anderson Cooper from “keeping them honest”? Because…you know what would make a great segment for your timely show, Anderson? An expose on Dow’s steadfast refusal to clean up the worst industrial accident in history. 110 degrees, sweating through your tight t-shirts, poor powerless Indians providing a wonderful backdrop for your milky visage. Could be another Emmy, A.C. |Scanned from Time magazine|

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The Whole World, Twitter Hates CNN’s Rick Sanchez

As the digital citizens of the world anxiously awaited for an Abyss-sized tidal wave to hit Hawaii this afternoon, CNN’s @Rick Sanchez was drowning in a pool of assholiness on air. Word quickly spread of his childish antics and spicy temper and Twitter got so mad, they were even hating on a guy named Rich Sanchez. Read more »

CNN Correspondent Jokes About Larry King’s Apparent Lack of a Pulse

CNN’s White House Correspondent, Ed Henry, snapped a photo of Larry King and not even he could tell if it was real or not and so he asked the aging news show host to confirm his own existence via Twitter.

Photo: Ed Henry