Balut: Aborted duck fetus. Seriously. The perfect balut is 17-21 days into its miserable life (as a right-wing Christian, I believe that the duck receives a soul at the time of conception), and is then boiled and siphoned out of the shell, while still warm. Balut is normally eaten with nothing more than a minimal amount of lime juice and ground pepper.

Dinuguan: A healthy stew comprised of all the parts of an animal no one wants to eat anyway, and blood. If you’re in midtown, and want to earn your red wings, go here.

Fruit bat soup: Pretty much exactly as it sounds. You bludgeon a bat to death, skin it, add onions, and voila!

Tuna Eyeball: Eat ‘em up, yum!

Cat meat: Of course I could make a joke about eating pussy, but I will spare you. Besides saying, you know, I like that. According to the Chinese, not only will cat meat keep you nice and toasty in the winter months, but is also excellent boner juice. Generally the stomach and intestines are consumed, and the thighs are turned into meatballs. Yesterday the Chinese government launched its first draft proposal to jail people who eat cat or dog meat, for up to 15 days. In my opinion, 15 days in jail is totally worth a fine deep-dickin’. Does anybody else feel this way? If so, email me and let’s make this happen!

Cod fish sperm: Steamed, pan-fried, or deep-fried; it’s your choice! Apparently they will “melt in your mouth like soft butter”. I wrap my lips around a lot of disgusting things, on the regular, and I don’t know if I would be able to palate this. I may let it ruin my face or something, if it took me to the Angelika first, but even that would be questionable.

Sheep dick: Generally grilled and served on a stick. Which is how I normally eat my penis anyway—must be genetic.

God, the next thing we know, these people will be able to hold office.

Photo of sheep heads in outdoor market in Tonghua, China: Rivard

One of the biggest drawbacks of the internet is the inane ramblings of dumb ass commenters and YouTube happens to be a breeding ground of the worst offenders. Not even “videos of the highest-of-high culture” like opera, classical music, or even Leonard Bernstein composing Shostakovich, Symphony No. 5 are safe from petty remarks. To highlight this widespread dereliction, an “art project” was devised that uses actors to read the low minded comments aloud while the original score plays in the background. So next time someone writes “First,” don’t feel so bad, the problem is more comprehensive than you could ever imagine. |F.A.T.|

Bonfire of the Brands author Neil Boorman released a short film promoting Buy Nothing Day,” a sort of fanciful, idealist, protest holiday urging consumers to NOT buy shit for one 24 hours to make some sort of statement about the evils of capitalism and how “WE CANNOT SHOP OUR WAY OUT OF THE LONG TERM PROBLEM.” |Pranks|

“Hipster” is the one word you really won’t find on this website except for in this very post. Abused to ad nauseam by virtually every form of media, across the boards, it has completely lost its meaning and really has no place in the English lexicon at this point. In the video above, some outfit called Black 20, hit the streets of NYC to try and understand broad fascination with the hollow label. Amazingly, it’s former Vice honcho and current Street Carnager Gavin McInnes that offers up the most lucid explanation, “It just means fashionable young people. This is has been going on since the fucking flappers.” |Black20|