Question: What do you do when a) you’ve got thousands of dollars in political contributions sitting in an account that you’re legally forbidden from directly banking as income and b) you want to make sure the dumb book you wrote remains on the bestseller lists? Well, if you’re Sarah Palin, you spend thousands of dollars in political contributions buying copies of your book under the guise of “gifts to donors,” thereby you can collect royalties and pad your sales without spending a cent of your own money. That’s what you call Wasilla Wisdom folks! |Daily News|

The New York Review of Books is just getting around to reviewing Going Rogue in their January 14, 2010 issue, and it is amazing. Written by Jonathan Raban, it’s an exceedingly honest and downright devastating analysis of the Palin phenomenon that has swept America in the past year. Here’s an excerpt:

Her nasal voice, pitched in the upper register, with the upsy-downsy, singsong delivery of a kindergarten teacher, became, rather improbably, a great electoral asset. Her diction and accent were shaped more by class than region, and spiced with faux-genteel cuss words like “dang,” “heck,” “darn,” “geez,” “bullcrap,” and “bass-ackwards.” It was a voice unspoiled by overmuch formal education and boldly unafraid of truisms and clichés; a perfect foil for Obama’s polished law-school eloquence. In the narrative of the McCain campaign, she was the exemplary real American, Obama the phony one, and when people are now interviewed in the interminable lines for her book signings, by far their most common remark about her is “She’s real.”

Alaska, the particular reality from which Palin hails, is so little known by most Americans that she was able to freely mythicize her state as the utopian last refuge of the “hard work ethic,” “unpretentious living,” and proud self-sufficiency. Her anti-tax rhetoric (private citizens spend their money more wisely than government does) and disdain for “federal dollars” were unembarrassed by the fact that Alaska tops the tables of both per capita federal expenditure, on which one in three jobs in the state depends, and congressional earmarks, or “pork.” So, too, she mythicized the straggling eyesore of Wasilla (described by a current councilwoman there as “like a big ugly strip mall from one end to the other”) as the bucolic small town of sentimental American memory. Listening to Palin talk about it, one was invited to inspect not the string of oceanic parking lots attached to Fred Meyer, Lowe’s, Target, Wal-Mart, and Home Depot, or the town’s reputation among state troopers as the crystal meth capital of Alaska, but, rather, the imaginary barber shop, drugstore soda fountain, antique church, and raised boardwalks, seen in the rosy light of an Indian summer evening.

Yeah. So good. Go read the whole thing.

Perhaps you’ve seen Sarah Palin farting around the country to promote her retarded manifesto, Going Rogue. To get around, Trixie Klondyke’s been allegedly traveling by bus, like a “real American,” so she could see the poor whites wallowing in the cornfields and whatnot, but it now appears as though that, like all things Palin, is a total load of bullshit.

She’s actually been flying around in a fancy, elitist private jet!

Yes, much has been made of the fact that Palin would be touring the country in a bus bearing the image on the cover of her book. To further promote this charade, Palin’s been tweeting and Facebooking “from the road,” as well as giving interviews to her media favorites on the bus. But it appears as if the thing’s been merely a prop all along.

Reports the Daily Beast:

As first reported by the Alaskan blog Palingates, she’s apparently been aboard UJT750, the Gulfstream American twin-jet that she first boarded at Westchester County airport shortly after noon on November 18, bound for Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the first stop on her tour…the plane’s goings and comings track Palin’s tour perfectly: from Grand Rapids to Washington, Pa. and then to Rochester, N.Y., Roanoke, Va., Fayetteville, N.C., Birmingham, Ala., and Jacksonville and Orlando.

On November 25, the plane carried Palin, her parents, her two youngest children and her Aunt Katie to Pasco, Washington, for Thanksgiving. And there it sat, at Tri-Cities Airport in Pasco, for four full days, which is a lot of inactivity for a plane that rents for more than $4,000 an hour. But it was Thanksgiving weekend and the Pasco-Richland area was where Palin wanted to be.

Palin apparently returned to New York Sunday night. At least UJT750 was scheduled to take off from Tri-Cities at 6:55 p.m. EST with an 11:30 p.m. arrival at Teterboro, N.J., anticipated. Her next signing is not until Thursday, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. Presumably, she’ll fly to Fayetteville and then board her bus again for the short ride to the local Sam’s Club. Presumably, she’ll also fly over the much greater distances that separate the stops on the western half of her tour, which stretches from Dallas to Minneapolis.

Of course, Palin’s death-cult followers will ignore all of this and claim it as another example of the liberal media trying to destroy her, so all of this is sort of pointless I suppose. Regardless, here’s video someone got of Palin getting off of her plane in North Carolina so she could meet Jesus for tea.

OMG OMG OMG! I can’t think of a better way to bring “Sarah Palin Week in America” to a close than with this here video. Seriously, this is perfect in ways that I can’t even really articulate.

So here’s the setup: All week, Trixie Klondyke has been storming through Americaland to promote her retard manifesto, Going Rogue, which apparently is British slang for unprotected anal sex, and her deranged death-cult followers have been camping out all night at Borders and Barnes and Noble to get their copies signed by the Golden Twat of American Conservatism herself at all points along the way.

So the other night Palin was in Noblesville, Indiana (No, I’ve never heard of that God-forsaken place either!) where the first thousand people in line were given wristbands that were supposed to guarantee that their books would be signed by the Warrior Princess after they stood in line for hours. But Saucy Sarah decided she was tired after about 700, so she decided to pack up the Going Rogue Express and roll out of town to head to some other shithole populated by “real Americans.” In other words, she quit! Mutiny then broke out with hundreds of wingnuts surrounding the bus to boo and chant “sign more books.”

Some of Palin’s shit-upon followers aired their displeasure on her Facebook page. This one from a guy named Jordan Harris was my personal fav...

I just spent 9 hours of my day, $40 of my hard earned money on two of your books, and took the whole day off work to watch you jump on a bus and throw a half-heated wave to the crowd you were avoiding.

I have never felt so disrespected. How can you claim that you are different? You aren’t. You are just as selfish as everyone else in Washington. It breaks my heart. I thought you might be the answer to the turmoil this country is under but you aren’t. You just slapped hundreds of Hoosiers in the face. The hard working type of people that you claim to represent.

You say in your book that you chose to sleep well over eating well. At the end of the day I know that you don’t care that you wasted the whole day of some 20 year old college student who lives on their own. I understand that all that matters is that I spent my money on two of your books. I’m sure your eating well. You certainly have no reason to be sleeping well.

Ha! Serves you right for being stupid Jordan. Perhaps one day you’ll learn that when you play with a fiery Alaskan maverick, you might get moose dung flung all up in your grille. Or something like that.

Via Eric Spiegelman