ANIMAL » Hoax

Are Somali Pirate Hunting Cruises a Hoax? Probably

Will Sherman — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:08:20 +0000

In what has to be a hoax unless Lucifer himself has taken up residence on Earth, Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt claims that an unscrupulous Russian luxury yacht company is offering pirate hunting cruises along the Somali coast. For nearly $6000 a day, passengers can ply the coastal waters in a heavily armed boat going just 5 knots in hopes of drawing a pirate attack.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers. Passengers, who can pay an extra 5 Dollar a day for an AK-47 machine gun and 12 Dollar for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

Somali Cruises offers more topical satire, advertising “most cruises offer a mini-bar—We offer a mounted Mini-Gun,” as well as testimonials like, “I bagged three pirates and my 12yr old son sank two rowboats with the minigun.” Still, there’s a slight chance it could be real, the world’s a cruel place after all, Michael Jackson is dead.

Eminem Was In On Bruno’s Ass Stunt Says Head Writer

Bucky Turco — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 02:35:09 +0000

Scott Aukerman, a Twitter-happy, Tumblr-typing comedian, who was hired to write the jokes for this weekend’s MTV Movie Awards, confirmed that the entire Bruno’s ass in Eminem’s face stunt was indeed rehearsed beforehand and with the full consent of the rapper. Duh! Aukerman, an Emmy nominated writer, beat all his co-conspirators to the punch, posting an account on his blog that pretty much settled any remaining speculation—assuming there still was any—about Eminem’s level of involvement:

“Yes, the Bruno/Eminem incident was staged. That’s all anyone wants to talk about, so let’s get it out of the way. They rehearsed it at dress and yes, it went as far as it did on the live show then.”

Strangely, the writer has since deleted the post, which could ignite more “controversy.” Was this a corporately mandated censorship from MTV for stealing all their thunder or just personal guilt for prematurely letting the cat out of the bag? Who knows! At least this nation of idiots can now soldier onto the next imagined outrage with full knowledge that Eminem had sanctioned man ass in his face, twice. |LATimes|

Fake BANKSY Film Hoax Revealed

Will Sherman — Wed, 06 May 2009 18:29:10 +0000

It turns out a dinner party that soap opera star Joan Collins hosted for the elusive artist BANKSY was all an elaborate hoax. Ivan Massow, the former chairman of London’s Institute of Contemporary Art, tricked Collins, his longtime friend, into hosting a feast for a group of celebrities and actor Bryan Lawrence, who was pretending to be the secretive street artist. According to the Daily Mail, Massow hoped to sell the fake footage of Banksy to unknowing television producers. However, a bit of investigation by the newspaper unraveled that plan, forcing Massow to confess his failure and wistfully remark: “To pull off what was such a massive art fraud would have been really quite spectacular.”

Still, Maddow plans to sell the film, Banksy’s Coming for Dinner, on the internet, calling it an “investigation into the nature of reality,” otherwise known as fiction. In an attempt to maintain some mystery around the phony film, the trailer of which is above, Maddow claims, “I still think he might be Banksy. Prove it’s not him.” Although no other proof besides the delusional director’s own admission is necessary, there are photos and plenty of compelling evidence pointing to BANKSY’s real identity.