Oh the Japanese, must they excel at everything?! Not only do they have us beat when it comes to education, technology, economy, and public transportation, but also they’re taking the title for best masturbators too.

Since 2008, Masanobu Sato has held the world record for longest time spent continuously masturbating – a mind-blowing, arm-numbing 9 hours and 58 minutes.

And you thought your little 30-minute Pornhub sessions were good. Most would probably assume this guy to be some hideous loser who lives alone in a porn dungeon, but actually he and his cute girlfriend seem like they’ve got it all figured out. Even the cat is getting down!

These aesthetic, ghostly photographs of erotic park shenanigans were taken by Kohei Yoshiyuki in the vicinity of Tokyo between 1971 and 1979. These encounters were sort of a thing, back then — the night, the naughty stranger couples, their mix ‘n’ matched genders and the hordes of aggressive stalker voyeurs crashing the hook up for a gawk.

The fact that the photographer was able to capture the cruisers with his infrared film and filtered flash without them noticing is only testament to their fascinating enthusiasm. “The Park,” Kohei Yoshiyuki, Sep 10 – Oct 30, Presentation House Gallery, Vancouver

“I think the Japanese male sexual complex originated in the two-dimensional world,” says super-flat superstar Takashi Murakami, proclaiming himself the inventor of three-dimensional, life-size renderings of anime-style cultural sex objects. This time, he had collaborating sculptor BOME make him a fiberglass, baby-faced trollop toppling from her vast, disproportionate boobage, based on the manga of Seiji Matsuyama (“controversial” creator of My Wife is an Elementary School Student, ahem).

The show also features giant, shiny, engorged genitalia and free cardboard DIY models of his cubical child sculpture, also made with art elves. Takashi Murakami, Jun 28 – Aug 5, Gagosian Gallery, London

So, TEPCO is asking residents to cut their usage dramatically and not only created a minimalist illustration showing different ways to conserve, but also outlined some helpful tips:

• Air conditioners account for the biggest energy consumption during the peak hours in summer. Try to set the temperature at 28°C (That’s 82 degrees Farenheit).
• In order to reduce the simultaneous use of multiple air conditioners, make an effort to spend more time together in a “family room” of everyone’s choice.
• Planting summer greenery such as bitter gourds or “Morning Glory flowers outside of the house windows will grow and eventually create a natural shade and heat barrier.
• Carefully control your surrounding environment by employing the sound of wind bells, choosing soothing colors for interior accessories and using aromatic scents that will contribute to one’s emotional and physical well-being as well as heat alleviation.

Could you imagine if Con Ed offered similar tips?

Of course, there’s no reason to be too cynical about this, because these images are presented without an epic production treatment we saw yesterday in that Libya Revolution “experience.” Cutting the theatrics down a bit makes for more effective multi-media reporting:

Damage in Rikuzen-Takada, Iwate Pref. (12) in Japan

The poor mammal was carried more than 1 mile inland by a quake-induced tsunami and deposited into a rice field. A pet shop owner drove the sea creature back to the Pacific and tossed it in.

He’s not sure if it will survive, but that’s not the point, telling a local newspaper: “I don’t know if it will live, but it’s certainly a lot better than dying in a rice paddy.” Co-signed!