Here are a bunch of porn actors and directors begging you not to download their work illegally from the internet. Because beneath every silver-eyeshadow be-gobbed/girl-next-door/”alternative” pornsona, there’s a hard working, tax-paying, economy-contributing girl. Also, Ron Jeremy. |Randazza|

Through my extensive research (watching Air Bud: Golden Receiver, and breathing), it seems that the general population of America is 50/50 on this one; though there are adamant supporters of both sides. It’s interesting that something as paltry as this could spur such great debate, seeing as everyone knows that only twinks and gypsy whores shave completely. I am both, just so you know.

Maybe it is because I watch copious amounts of pornographic material, but I always assumed that people liked the Max Brenner (minus the off-brown liquid). There are, of course, sites and forums that dedicate themselves completely to women and the hair that they treat as a fine topiary. It seems on average, though, that the area is wholly unoccupied (in porn). Which makes me wonder how different generations perceive pubes, and what the next batch of technology-saturated scumbags are going to think about ‘em.

Using tactics that I learned in an infomercial about market research, I decided to ask around to see what the “average” American thought. When posed the “What do you think about pubic hair?” question, every person I approached assumed I was asking them about their own. I then had to clarify, and say “No, I mean on the bag of flesh that you’re fucking”. Scott and Liz shouted “BRING BACK THE MUFF!” Bearded Boy #1‘s alarmingly quick response was “It’s a woman’s choice! Just like abortions or…dish soap brands? I don’t know, put something sexist.” Vince Mancini responded with a 12-step regimen, but this is all I have room to include: “…remove all hair on the lower labial area, unless your dude has a fantasy about getting a mustache ride from Tom Selleck (not that there’s anything wrong with that…).” And because the only girls I talk to are ones that have great tits, and would let me crawl inside of them, Joanna Angel replied with “I think girls with no public hair look like little kids…but a full bush that goes to your thighs, that hasn’t been trimmed at all, is unacceptable.” Like I said, AVERAGE AMERICANS.

Whether you are a proponent of the au naturale look, appreciator of the bare minimum, or anything in between; can we all just agree that the little treasure trove beneath that much-debated area is fun to shove things into?

Photo of hairless cat: Jedi Grand Master Yoda

Although the media has mostly overblown the role that Twitter has played in the uprisings surrounding the Iranian elections with most people on the ground are still relying on SMS texts and good ol’ word of mouth, there’s no denying the impact its had on the micro-blogging community. From rappers to porn stars and celebrities, everyone’s getting in on the revolutionary action. And now with this Twitter application that automatically adds a green overlay to avatars, armchair activism has never been so convenient. ANIMAL decided to take a look at the eclectic mix of personalities who’ve gone green for the cause, see some of them below.

Activist actress and heartthrob: Alyssa Milano

Coward and pseudo political pundit: Meghan McCain

Caricature rapper: MC Hammer

Unfunny comedian and nerd: John Hodgman

Political pundit and shell of a man: Joe Scarborough

Daily Show correspondent: Rob Riggle

Celebrity Puppet: Insult the Comic Dog

Infamous anti-war protester and actress: ‘Hanoi’ Jane Fonda

Formerly relevant actor : John Larroquette

Celebrity for no reason: Nicole Ritchie

Superthug and rapper: N.O.R.E.

Attack of the Show host: Olivia Munn

Roots drummer and Twitter emeritus: ?uestlove

Porn empress: Joanna Angel

A weird photo shoot with a wanted felon? A video confessional? Sure, why not?

Kari Ferrell claims she never ripped anyone off while she’s been in New York. All the “bad stuff” was back in Salt Lake City. She also claims the New York Observer never contacted her for their piece even though, obviously, she’s easy to find. She seems to be reveling in her new found notoriety but is torn between expanding the myth — for a book, a Lifetime movie or even taking up Joanna Angel on her offer to pose nude. But she also wants to return to her “normal” life. If she goes that route, though, that means she’ll have to head back to Utah to face those messy legal matters. Of course, her version of the story is less apocryphal. She knows she made some mistakes and is trying to make things right. But until then? Fun with samurai swords and the Art Of Grifting! UPDATE: Kari Ferrell surrenders in Philadelphia.

Photos by Will Sherman/ANIMALnewyork.com
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