ANIMAL » Joe the Plumber

Meghan McCain Totally Flummoxed By Clogged Drain, Drano

Cajun Boy — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:10:36 +0000

Quick, somebody, preferably a well-endowed young Republican with a trust fund, rescue this damsel in distress, John McCain’s perpetually confused dunderhead of a daughter, as she has clogged her drain with her flowing blond locks and has absolutely no idea how to use the weird, utterly baffling Drano stuff to unclog it, according to her Twitter.

Naturally Meghan, as is her proclivity, deleted her panicked, confusion-laden tweets as soon as the little “this makes me look like a total jackass” light inside her wee brain went off. Luckily, we were able to screengrab them before she saw the light…

For those of you who haven’t used Drano previously (and really, who other than the pampered daughter of a booze heiress and a U.S. Senator hasn’t?), all you do is pour the shit down the drain, wait 15 minutes, run some water, and voila, the drain is unclogged 99% of the time.

Regardless, surely someone will come to her rescue, since Twitter is just overflowing with plumbers, right?! Too bad she and her Dad’s buddy Joe the Plumber aren’t all that tight anymore after she called him a “dumbass.” Pot meet kettle.

Joe the Speeder

ANIMAL — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 01:52:00 +0000

Fearing negative publicity from an ongoing disciplinary hearing within their department, police in Toledo did not issue a speeding ticket to McCain’s hollow surrogate “Joe the Plumber,” letting him off with a warning instead. |AP|

Say It Ain’t So Joe: You’re Not Even A Plumber!

ANIMAL — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 21:57:23 +0000

As if this presidential election hasn’t been inundated with enough catch phrases over the past two years, here’s another one: “Joe the Plumber.” Mentioned more than two dozen times in last night’s debate by mostly John McCain, it turns out the guy doesn’t even have a state plumbing license and his first name isn’t Joe. Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher has been thrust into presidential politics after asking Obama a few questions on video about that candidate’s new tax plan at a ropeline a few days ago. But the more we learn about Joe Schmoe, it becomes increasingly clear that he’s not all that bright. For one, he would get a tax break under Obama’s plan that he wouldn’t get under McCain’s since he currently doesn’t make over $250,000, that so called company he was thinking about buying was more of a hypothetical—according to divorce records he only made $40,000 in 2006. Plus it would be illegal for Samuel the Plumber to run any kind of plumbing operation—forget about the license, he’s not registered with the state to operate as a plumber either. He also owes back property taxes. And it’s only been a few hours. Wait till more of Joe’s crap comes bubbling to the surface, further clogging the Shit Talk Express’ already muddled message. |ToledoBlade via Politico|