ANIMAL » KATE MOSS

Jesus-Art Smasher’s Site Exposes Perveted Antichrist Bill Gates

Marina Galperina — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 15:45:54 +0000

Seven more weeks to the Rapture, you guys! So says the newly launched website of the crowbar-wielding trucker Kathy Folden who destroyed Enrique Chagoya’s The Misadventures of the Romantic Cannibals at the Loveland Museum. There’s a ten page treatise on the “incident” (“I know I will be rewarded, above the satisfaction I got from ripping such an offense to shreds”), extensive evidence that Bill Gates is the Antichrist (he’s got a “bionic brain implant to directly connect him with his worldwide computer networks” and “gets his neighbors drunk so he can see them naked”) and many hat tips to Sean Hannity and Glenn Beck. Gasp. Now, for some art criticism…

Apparently, Piss Christ is evoked a heavy emotional response in Kathy, but Cannibals filled her with a sense of determination:

Whereas, upon hearing about the crucifix soaking in urine, I was utterly livid, upon hearing about Jesus in a dress, having breasts, and being serviced by a man with a big, ugly, red tongue, I was utterly calm and steadfast.

Someone’s got a case of the no homos! It’s a chronic one too, since “God positioned Barack Obama as President of the United States” to “homosexualize the military.” But back to art theory:

In response to the bawling man in the corner, who weakly tried to push me away from the case twice: I said, “It wasn’t art,” when he asked how I could destroy ART?! Imagine a man, fully grown, worshipping and bawling over such meaningless drivel, trying to fill a life nearing its completion, with emptiness and counterfeit. Any school age artists could reproduce like quality, although they would be vastly enriched by never having been contaminated through seeing it.

Who is Kathy?

Who I am is a wife who married young, only to be rejected. The Lord is my soon to be husband and witness on my behalf against that rejection…

Kathy is a very jealous fiancée. Rawr.

In Case You Were Wondering, Pete Doherty Is Still Alive and Consuming Heroin

Cajun Boy — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 19:47:37 +0000

Noted former(?) boner of Kate Moss, occasional musician Pete Doherty, was arrested AGAIN on Monday after he was found carrying heroin when he was busted for drunk driving. He was then released back into the wild after posting bail. Okay, two things…1) How is this dude still alive and 2) how many times are British authorities going to release him back into society before he kills someone? Jesus. |BBC|

Rockstar Learns Dangers of Coke Firsthand

Will Sherman — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 23:07:28 +0000

The Kills guitarist Jamie Hince doesn’t back up his computer, so when his model girlfriend Kate Moss threw his laptop into a swimming pool in a fit of rage, he lost six new tracks. Not surprisingly “Jamie was absolutely livid and kept yelling, ‘Why would you do such a f***ing stupid thing?!’ ” but the couple have apparently since made up. |Contact Music|

Kate Moss Gets Lichtenstein’d In London

ANIMAL — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 21:49:58 +0000

While the Decapitator is roaming around the streets of London removing celebrity heads from advertisements, artist James Cauty incorporates them into his work. He recently “liberated” a few billboards on the East End, one of them featuring a Roy Lichtenstein-esque Kate Moss fawning over the artist’s work. Perfecting the art of self-promotion, each kidnapped ad space included a website URL too. |Supertouch|

A Hulking Kate Moss

ANIMAL — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 21:02:52 +0000

From supermodel to superhero. With only 6 days, 12 hours, and a few minutes to go till the opening of The Incredible Hulk movie, the hype timing on this KATE HULK t-shirt couldn’t be any better. French brand, Cell Dvsn, just released it and if you don’t mind shelling out $62.92 for a tee, buy it here.

The Most Abstract Kate Moss Ever

ANIMAL — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:23:43 +0000

“Rather than focusing on the details of Moss’s now extremely ‘familiar’ face, Emin has decided to expose a more personal side of the model using a line that simply traces the curve of the leg, the suggestion of an arm, and the cursory but delicate outlining of her face,” reads the description for this polymer gravure etching of the waif model. It was created by artist Tracey Emin and is being sold off at Bonhams “Vision 21″ auction tomorrow in London. It’s expected to fetch around $2000. Other Kate Moss derived works include BANKSY’S famed screenprint—estimated sale price: $60K—and this magnificent photo print of her naked spiny back by Albert Watson. |ArtDaily|

French President’s Naked Wife Sells for $91,000

ANIMAL — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 18:00:37 +0000

Remember that bare-skinned photo of French President Nicolas Sarkozy’s wife Carla Bruni, taken while she was a fashion model in 1993? The full body nude, shot by photographer Michel Comte was recently auctioned off at Christie’s and fetched more than 20x it’s estimated sale price. Although the photog claims he’d never sell the more “explicit” photos he has of Bruni, will he consider changing his mind now that the market has been tested? He didn’t bank anything on this after all, the photo was owned by collector of naked models Gert Elfering. Despite being one of the most famous nudes for sale at the auction, this image of a naked Kate Moss sold for $97K, but Brigitte Bardot had both of them easily beat with a photo of her fetching $181K. |BBC| |AmateurPhotographer|

Kate Moss Shows Her Ass for David Yurman

ANIMAL — Thu, 14 Sep 2006 05:01:17 +0000

Lafayette St.
If we knew cocaine addiction could get so much work and attract so many different brands and clients, we would have put down the bong a long time ago, stopped sending out those media kits, and replaced all our schmoozing with Eighballs and gold plated straw sets. This time Kate Moss shills for David Yurman, and her skinny little ass never looked so big.
Previously: Kate Moss Stares Mosque In the Face

ANIMAL bytes: Messengers Are Really Just Geeks On Bikes

ANIMAL — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 04:19:54 +0000

While some cyclists played cat and mouse with cops at last Friday’s Critical Mass, others played cops and robbers with fake crack in Brooklyn.
Kate Moss appears in 7 ad campaigns in this Fall’s new NYT T style mag alone, someone’s gotta pay for that habit.
Wired to hold Nerd-fest in NYC.
Video of Stephen Colbert attacking the modern day Babylonians aka Hollywood.

Kate Moss Stares Mosque In the Face

ANIMAL — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 21:54:35 +0000

East 11th St. and 1st Ave.

Newly reordained brand whore Kate Moss has landed herself another job, this time for a new ad campaign for Calvin Klein. One of the ads, located directly across the street from the Madina Masjid Mosque on east 11th street, features a topless Moss flirtingly touching a man from behind. This surely must not be a favorite for devout East Village Muslims especially since their rigorous prayer routine requires at least 5 viewings of the wide eyed infidel daily. It’s only a matter of time before some action is taken, and we’re dying to see what a hastily spray painted burka looks like on the young coke sniffing crusader.