ANIMAL » LINDSAY LOHAN

Lindsay Lohan the Graffiti Artist the Video the Ha-ha-ha

Marina Galperina — Mon, 22 Aug 2011 17:30:16 +0000

As previously teased, here’s that power pop music video fantasy, wherein the Lindsay Lohan is a successful actress by day, a mysterious “world famous street artist” by night and someone very famous who still gets invited to shit later that same night.

Sowy, that was harsh. Not as harsh as these cartoon bunnies. Geh. What? Drew Barrymore’s video “graffiti coordinator” wasn’t available?

Lindsay Lohan Demonstrates Her Graffiti Skills

Marina Galperina — Thu, 21 Jul 2011 15:30:11 +0000

Here’s Lindsay Lohan in a hood, corset and big fuck-me-awkwardly boots, slinking around Los Angeles and spraying “I heart Mom” graffiti. Allegedly, she’s “playing herself” in a music video by poppy-rocky band the Miggs. Who knew Lohan was a vandal?

Maybe Lohan and Keith Richards’ daughter can team up.

The 25-year-old’s latest artistic effort revels in her “bad girl” image. Not that one. The one that can only glare at you out of a wet bathing suit and fearlessly suck on firearms while rolling around in blood.

Lindsay Lohan as Brigitte Bardot in Richard Phillips’s Short Film

Marina Galperina — Fri, 27 May 2011 14:00:39 +0000

Bravo, Lindsay! Sure, rolling around in blood and sucking off guns was kitschy fun, but this is much better for you. Dive into painter Richard Phillips’s first short film, wherein a water-loving Lohan emotes classic cinema tributes in a bikini.

Can you see “Brigitte Bardot smoldering in Jean-Luc Godard’s Contempt“ or “the searing psychosexual interplay of Bibi Andersson and Liv Ullman in Ingmar Bergman’s Persona?” Yeah, whatever. Now if she can last longer than a 90 second short, she’ll be right back on track.

Renowned for his intentional pop-culture cheese and soft-porn surrealism, Richard Phillips beams about his star:

Lindsay has an incredible emotional and physical presence on screen that holds an existential vulnerability, while harnessing the power of the transcendental—the moment in transition. She is able to connect with us past all of our memory and projection, expressing our own inner eminence.

Yes, clap clap clap. More revealing (and clear) is this famous quote by Phillips:

My pictures involve a kind of wasted beauty – that’s always been a thread in my work.

See Richard Phillips’ Lindsay Lohan in “Commercial Break,” Group show presented by the Garage Center for Contemporary Culture, Jun 1 – Jun 5, Venice (Concurrent with Biennale di Venezia).

Lindsay Lohan Bloody Murder Fantasy Show

Marina Galperina — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 19:10:18 +0000

Why was Lindsay wallowing in blood and sucking guns last year? Apparently, photog Tyler Shields wants to direct a Sharon Tate biopic where Lindsay plays Tate and Shields plays Manson. At least, that’s what he told the troubled starlet to get her to come to his house and roleplay sexy murder victim.

Banksy reportedly helped Shields score the same exhibition space he used for the Barely Legal exhibit, says the cred-seeking photographer. So, if you’re into “edgy,” cliché-L.A. celebrity portraiture and brunette Lindsay’s useless Deep Throat-ing Linda Lovelace “promo” shots, it’s the show for you.

David Letterman Scapegoats His Humiliation Onto Lindsay Lohan

Bucky Turco — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 18:15:18 +0000

Poor Linds. She didn’t even do anything wrong, but was still lightly toasted by David Letterman for a flub that his staff made, when a prankster claiming to rep her called the Late Show and booked her to read the Top-10 list via satellite (she’s still got bail and parole problems.).

A giddy CBS, blasted out a presser and by the time the shot was heard around the world, Lindsay Lohan fired back, on Twitter, nicely. So Dave responded by making fun of her and her family.

Lindsay Lohan Not “Doing” Letterman

Bucky Turco — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 16:20:00 +0000

Despite numerous reports and an announcement by CBS, Lindsay Lohan will not be reading the Top-10 list on the Late Show Thursday night. She delivered the sad news via Twitter: “I Am NOT going to be doing David Letterman, I’m not sure how this happened, but am sorry for the confusion…” They planned on beaming her in via satellite from LA and now have to book someone ASAP. How about Jeff Goldblum? He solely exists for this reason.

Unless She Does Leg Thing, Stop Comparing Lindsay Lohan to Catherine Tramell

Bucky Turco — Thu, 10 Feb 2011 22:00:56 +0000

Lindsay Lohan had to make a court appearance in LA yesterday for allegedly stealing some necklace—hey at least it wasn’t for drugs—so she wore a dress, a nicely fitted white one, and it’s now more important than the why she went to court in the first place. According to the likes of TMZ and amNY, the professional bad girl was obviously channeling Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, a movie that came out when Lindsay was six-years-old. But they are right about one thing: both the dresses are white.

American Role Model Possibly Facing Serious Jail Time

Bucky Turco — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 20:04:00 +0000

At least that’s what RadarOnline is “exclusively” reporting about famous person Lindsay Lohan. She’s expected to leave her secondary residence at the Betty Ford Center and attend court on Friday where a judge could sentence the starlet to a year in jail for violating her parole.

Lindsay Lohan Fails Drug Test Miserably

Bucky Turco — Fri, 24 Sep 2010 16:58:19 +0000

Many people who are required to take drug tests, but like to get high, prefer cocaine because it only takes three days to leave their system, a fact that Lindsay Lohan either didn’t know or just flat out ignored. And now she’s headed back to jail, for a third time. Can we now all agree that a healthy dose of common sense would do her more good than any rehab program?

My Letter To Lindsay

Kari Ferrell — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 17:23:02 +0000

As we all know, Lindsay Lohan and I both share more in common than a penchant for processed meats; we have now both been sent to jail! Knowing that she could benefit from a few pieces of advice from an old pro, I decided to write her a letter. I gave her tips on how to survive her grueling 14 days in jail, and reminded her that because people would pay more than $40 to bang her, she is better than the others serving with her.

Lindsay, even if you never write back, I’ll know how much you appreciate my spirit being there with you. Good luck, and godspeed. I gotta run to court!

(Click letters to enlarge)