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Naughty Monsters Slumber Party

Halloween may have already run it’s course, but as far as I’m concerned sexy masked slumber parties are relevant year-round. Read more »

New “Monster” Washes Up In Central Park

Last week’s Long Beach Beast wasn’t enough to satisfy our yearly fucked-up-sea-pig urges, which started way back with the Montauk Monster, so we’re now inducting the Central Park Creature into the club. The purplish, rodent-like thing was spotted on the sidewalk inside the park this week and although the critter isn’t nearly as mysterious as its Long Island predecessors, it’s still worthy of a mention for its location alone. (Photo: Jake’s Mag)

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Seneca Lake “Monster” Looks More Like A Ripple

With no strange creatures washing up on Long Island lately, we had to go way the hell upstate to find this summer’s monster story and it’s not nearly as exciting or believable as some previous ones. Watch the oddly produced video and give us your best theories. |Caveatviator|

Canada Gets Itself A Monster Ahead of Time

Monster season hasn’t even officially begun and yet native people in Ontario are reporting the appearance of a freakish looking carcass. It was found floating in a river and like the Montauk Monster, appears to be an animal demonized by water and decomposition. But to the indigenous Kitchenuhmaykoosib Band, this is no regular beast. Their elders say they’ve seen it before and although the creature hasn’t been around in a while, they did give it the most fitting name ever a long time ago: “the ugly one.” |The Star|

Goat Spawns Monster-Fetus In Zimbabwe

What is the this strange creature? Just as grotesque as both the Montauk and Panama monsters, the demon-baby was reportedly “born from a goat in central Zimbabwe” earlier this month. According to the The New Zimbabwe, it not only had human facial features and skin, but also goat legs and a tail. Superstitious villagers were disturbed by the repulsive animal and decided to torch it, so no one was able to properly identify it. Still, despite the many theories being floated, a local governor is convinced that some interspecies rape was involved, declaring: “An adult human being was responsible.” |TheNewZimbabwe|

The Panama Monster

Finally, a new monster that’s not from Montauk. This handsome looking thing was found by two teenagers exploring near a lakefront cave in Panama. It reportedly emerged from behind a waterfall and looked like it was going to attack so they slew the hairless beast with rocks. And if you think this slimy abomination is gross looking shortly after its death, wait till you see its ungodliness after some buzzards snacked on it. Read more »

Monstrous-Sized Shark Invades Babylon Beach

Today, a giant shark that doesn’t eat humans died on a Long Island beach. Surfers reportedly spotted the 20-foot basking shark this morning flailing about and showing signs of distress. It eventually washed ashore at Gilgo Beach where sunbathers snapped photos and posed with the massive fish. More photos of the wannabe Jaws below. |WPIX| Read more »