ANIMAL » New Jersey

The Real Map of New Jersey

Marina Galperina — Thu, 08 Dec 2011 23:30:51 +0000

Some people might think that this sociographical map of New Jersey is not funny, racially insensitive, “unfortunate” and shows “the worst possible side of things,” but Reddit enjoyed it so much that Rutgers University graduate/research assistant Joe Steinfeld has come forward as the creator. While New Yorkers are fine with observing Jersey from over here, this gent is all up in there, supposedly, so he’s going to tell you which are the parts for “Executives living in mansions with Mercedes Benzes,” “Sad black people and misguided tourists” and “Russians, Polacks and Toxic Fume” (ahem!) and also “Where they filmed Clerks.” (Click to enlarge)

But did Joe really traverse “the vast wilderness of rednecks and retired hippies” or is he winging this? And, is he really winging it or should he be disqualified as an amateur social cartographer for using the h-word?

New Jersey Finally Enacts Medical Weed Law

Bucky Turco — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 19:45:57 +0000

Back in January of 2010, then Governor John Corzine signed a bill before he left office, making New Jersey the 14th state in the U.S. to legalize medical weed. Despite all that heavy lifting, incoming Governor Chris Christie sat on his ass and refused to move the law forward until now, and by year’s end, six dispensaries are expected to open.

What’s that Pungent Smell on the PATH?

Bucky Turco — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 17:00:48 +0000

One would assume it’s just New Jersey rubbing off on the transit system, but apparently there’s more to it than that and so the New York Times brought in a professional smeller to sniff around and see if he could identify the source of the noxious odors, which reportedly have been a problem plaguing riders riders for years.

Expert Larry Sunshine quickly got to work and said the scents emanating from PATH trains range from “a touch of dampness” to “mildewy, moldy.” On top of those, he also singled out a new plastic seat smell and the fresh aroma of printed ads, providing a full olfactory experience for commuters.

Governor Christie’s Overly Strict Medical Weed Rules Rejected

Bucky Turco — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 20:30:26 +0000

Almost a year ago, outgoing New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine signed a perfectly good medical weed bill into law. All Governor Christie had to do was enact it, the heavy lifting was done. Instead, he fumbled it, added language making it the strictest in the nation, and now the state Senate told him to rewrite it, before they do, which could further delay the law that was expected to be implemented in July 2011.

Courtroom Controversies, Starring Cats

Lauri Apple — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 17:30:50 +0000

Two weird stories in the NY Post involve cats, New Jersey, NYC, and the law. Just one more and we could have a trend on our hands (which are covered with bites and scratches!).

In the first story, a brand bullshitting consultant is suing his ex-girlfriend for allegedly removing all his stuff from his apartment–including his two dogs–and getting his cat euthanized while he was in Hawaii working with popular American recording artist Kanye West (also known as “‘Ye”). The ex-gf reportedly went ahead and stored some of the dude’s stuff in New Jersey, and also sent his dogs (including one that he rescued from a Hungarian hooker, which is somehow important to the story) to Washington state. She’s also suing him, for slander. The ex-gf didn’t give any comments to the Post, which might be why the paper’s on the guy’s side.

In the other case, a woman from New Jersey is suing McSorley’s Old Ale House in the East Village claiming the bar’s cat seriously injured her in October 2009. The bar owner doesn’t remember any of this happening. Neither the woman nor her lawyer provided a comment to the Post, which might be why the paper’s on the bar’s side.

What can we learn from these two tragedies? Three things:

1. Don’t date anybody.
2. Don’t let people from New Jersey drink at your ale house.
3. We need to start teaching cats how to talk, so they can put humans in their place when needed.

This cat wasn’t involved in either story–it’s just a neat-looking cat. Kind of resembles David Bowie during his Aladdin Sane period. (Photo: Ihasb33r/flickr)

Today’s News Is Like Crack Rocks in Your Shoes

Lauri Apple — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 16:27:47 +0000

A three-year-old from the Boston area went to preschool with 17 bags of crack in her shoe. It sounds like the guy who confessed to putting the crack there is covering for someone else.

The guy’s lawyer is saying as much. Says the Globe, “In the police report, the child is quoted as saying, “My mommy put it in my shoes and said it was candy.” Uh-huh. |Boston Globe|

Other National Things:

A study shows that talking about climate change in a “gloom and doom” way might backfire with the public. So when you’re telling someone that the ocean levels are rising, and the animals are dying, just laugh and smile the whole time. |Wash Post|

Maybe if we asked happy television artist Sarah Palin to talk about the dangers of climate change to disbelievers, they’d listen. She’s always smilin’. |NYDN|

Send New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan a congrats card–he’s the new, “bearish, ruddy, blackslapper” president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. And he’s a total hit with the hardcore conservative set, so he should keep reproductive rights bloggers busy for a few years. |Religion News Service|

Taco: It’s not just a food! It’s also an Internet plug-in that’s supposed to help you avoid being tracked by the cookies. |Privacy Lives|

Six Congresspeople are under investigation for spending too many taxpayer dollars during overseas trips. They include Republican Rep. Joe “You LIE!” Wilson of South Carolina and Rep. Eliot Engel, Democrat of New York. |WSJ|

Newt Gingrich is in Iowa, staring at cornfields and being a dick. |Gingrich Twitter|

Local things:

Number 7 train to Secaucus? That almost makes up for the Concorde not running anymore. |WSJ|

Rep. Anthony Weiner thinks Sybil might be the GOP candidate in 2012. She’s one of the Palin kids. |Weiner Tweets|

Mayor Mike Bloomberg‘s spending the day with “one of NYC’s favorite superheroes” and wants you to guess who it is. It’s probably either Paul Sevigny or Chloe Sevigny. |Bloomberg Twitter|

Some pugilistic guy loved working at UPS so much that he kept coming to work even after he got fired, and now UPS is suing him to keep him away. They don’t need volunteer weirdos, thanks. |NYDN|

Put your old bed in a plastic bag before throwing it out there on the curb. Do it or you’ll pay! Pay $100! This all has to do with bedbugs. |NY1|

New idea for a city program: Adopt-a-Bedbug.

To become the deciduous forest that it is today, the city’s planted more than 400,000 trees under MillionTreesNYC. |NYC Mayor’s Office Twitter|

Will former state senate leader Joe Bruno‘s conviction be overturned? Or will his conviction be overturned only so he can be convicted again? And will that conviction be overturned? |NYDN|

NJ Governor Still A Huge Obstacle to Medical Weed Law

Bucky Turco — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 20:52:15 +0000

Even after former Governor John Corzine and the rest of the New Jersey legislature did all the heavy lifting and passed a medical weed law, Governor Chris Christie butchered the legislation, making it the strictest in the nation. Patients basically need to be on their death bed to obtain it and supporters of the initial bill are now asking the state Senate and Assembly to go back to the original formula.

The Garden State’s Medical Weed Law Sucks

Bucky Turco — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 20:54:10 +0000

New Jersey’s Department of Health and Senior Services finally got around to drafting rules for the state’s medical weed program and as the MPP accurately notes, they are the “nation’s strictest.” At least they’ll be a good case study for what other states shouldn’t do.

The good news: Although it should be sooner, in the summer of 2011, residents suffering from one of nine excruciatingly painful medical conditions will be able to legally obtain medical weed.

The bad news: Only two growers and four dispensaries will be available to patients statewide.

Not so bad news: The potency of THC will be limited to 10%, which is just about equal to the nation’s average in 2008 and much better than the crap people were smoking in 1983 when it only contained a measly 4%.

NJ To Finally Implement Medical Weed Law

Bucky Turco — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 20:58:04 +0000

After numerous delays by a thick-headed Republican governor and inaction from a pussy-footed Democratic legislature, patients in New Jersey suffering from chronic diseases will soon be able to register for the state’s medical weed program. Now all they need to do is figure out how they’re going to distribute it and pain-riddled adults can expect some relief any year now.

Republican Governor Steamrolling Republican Values Over Medical Weed

Bucky Turco — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 18:46:21 +0000

Republicans love to talk about states rights and small government and rah-rah this and rah-rah that, yet New Jersey’s Governor Chris Christie refuses to implement even the most restrictive medical weed policy in the nation.