Police are still on the lookout for the elusive pervert of Park Slope who has been terrorizing area women over the past six months. They’ve released three sketches in all and have asked residents to look for a particular trait or walk. That’s a great idea, assuming the sleezeball doesn’t approach you from behind and fondle you. Also, we’re no criminologists, but they look like three different people, all of which might make this case that more difficult to crack.

A Brooklyn resident was fortunate enough to catch a rare glimpse of NYC wildlife in action when a hawk tore up up a bird while sitting atop an air conditioner in Park Slope. (Video: dlgbklyn/YouTube)

The New York Post reports that the 19-block path—which replaced a lane of car traffic and some parking spots four months ago—has inspired dueling rallies. Supporters and opponents have already held other rallies, answered Surveymonkeys, attended meetings, and protested or supported the lane electronically. The anti- side is particularly tenacious, because they are fighting a war on TERROR:

“Hundreds of residents say they feel considerably less safe since the installation of the bike lane,” says Louise Hainline, who founded a group called Neighbors for a Better Bike Lane. “It is now hazardous to cross the street, to park a car, and to open a car door into traffic lanes. It is, in fact, terrifying.”

It’s terrifying because of how the bikers ride around like assholes, said 71-year-old Joane Taylor to the New York Daily News, in so many words:

Taylor … said she was almost knocked to the ground on the path near First St. when a biker zoomed by, pushed her back and didn’t stop to see if she was okay.”I jumped back, pulled the dog’s leash back [and] I lost my footing and fell on the trunk of a car,” said Taylor, who bruised her hip in the encounter. “I don’t want to be overly dramatic…but if I was the mayor, I’d be worried about lawsuits.”

There wouldn’t have to be any lawsuits if the city just made bikes illegal. Then the roads would be safe again—for the babies, and the stroller moms, and the grandmoms, and the cars.

A city DOT spokesman told the Daily News that his agency “hadn’t observed” any crashes involving bikes and pedestrians. Maybe he was wrong? Because it’s really hard to believe that this bike lane isn’t just killing everybody who dares to approach it.

Just about everyone knows that if there’s one thing that can just kill the atmosphere in a bar, it’s a goddamn baby! Well, that and the asshole who plays Barry Manilow songs on the jukebox, but I digress. Anyway, a bar in Windsor Terrace has had enough of the baby-in-bars menace and is putting its foot down: No more babies in the bar…after 5pm. Wait, what?

According to the Post, The Double Windsor on Prospect Park West in Windsor Terrace is laying down the law.

We are Windsor Terrace and Park Slope parents like everyone else,” (Owner Jeff) Switzer said. “But the bottom like is that this is a bar, and most of our customers feel like it’s not an appropriate place for kids after hours.”

A sign outside the bar informs customers that “No one under 21 years of age allowed after 5 p.m.” It further reads, “Don’t get us wrong, we love kids (especially yours).” So far, Switzer said, the bar has not had to enforce the policy.

Ahem, shouldn’t the ban on babies be during ALL hours that the bar’s open? Aren’t there laws prohibiting this sort of thing? Don’t these people know what can happen when you drink with babies? Haven’t they seen Crazy Heart? Apparently not!

Local dad Jake Rockowitz said that while he agrees that strollers take up too much space in a bar, Double Windsor’s cutoff time is a bit early. “Seven or 8 p.m. is more fair. That’s when kids should go to sleep,” he said.

Good grief.

Photo of interior of Double Windsor via Eater’s Flickr