It looks like the feds will have less birds to clandestinely roundup and gas this year now that only one survivor from a gaggle of baby geese that defied the (human) odds remains.
Earlier this month, despite a blatant murder attempt by humans armed with corn oil, six goose eggs hatched in the hostile wilderness that is Prospect Park and although two died right away, four goslings survived, until now. The Brooklyn Paper sadly reports that one of those baby geese has gone missing and is likely dead. Amazingly, Mother Nature is the likely culprit, not man. (Photo: Tom Callan/TheBrooklynPaper)
Earlier this week, parks officers tore down a homeless man’s twig hut in Prospect Park after uppity locals—who obviously don’t respect ingenuity—complained about it. Haterz! According to the Brooklyn Paper, the “well-made” shack stood “six-foot-tall” and was “big enough to sleep three men.” There’s always this alternative. (Photo: Anne-Katrin Titze)
Local officials are looking into less lethal strategies to keep Prospect Park geese-free so planes won’t crash and the feds will refrain from sneaking in to slaughter the birds. Initially, the Parks Department will test out using a trained dog to scare them off. Additionally, they’d like to put oil on their eggs so they won’t hatch and grow plants that will make the lake less comfy.
A goat is the latest animal to turn up dismembered in Prospect Park. Was it someone’s dinner or an ingredient in a supernatural Santeria ritual? It’s hard to tell, but leave it up to the Brooklyn Paper to speculate wildly and come up with the following conclusion about its apparent humane death: “The goat did not appear to have died in a great deal of pain, as it still wore a crooked smile despite missing its legs and vital organs.”
Everyone knows that bicycles are more dangerous than cars. Nevertheless, the city created a bike lane along Prospect Park West, ostensibly to put stroller moms and old people in harm’s way. Now empowered Park Slope residents are protesting. Reclaim the streets!
Read more »
Remarkably, two Canada geese were spotted in the lake at Prospect Park on Wednesday reports the Brooklyn Paper. The birds managed to survive last week’s mass slaughter by the feds and as long as they refrain from molting, shouldn’t have anything to worry about. (Photo: Stefano Giovannini)
Last summer, when the city first announced that 2,000 Canada geese would be killed to help prevent bird strikes on planes departing from Kennedy and LaGuardia airports, they said nothing about Prospect Park, it’s not even located in the 5 mile kill zones they created. But with the help of murderous biologists, the feds moved in, rounded up 400 of the birds, and gassed them, practically erasing the familiar feathered fiends from the landscape. |NYT|
After attacking an adult Canada goose, a crazed, bloodthirsty swan killed two baby geese in Prospect Park on Sunday afternoon. It reportedly snatched the yellow goslings by their necks and dropped them into the lake where they floated around like mob murder victims. RIP! |City Room|
Photo: Jeremy Zilar/The New York Times
As the nice weather approaches, many people will undoubtedly flock to Brooklyn’s official woodsy retreat, Prospect Park, where they can ride bikes, have picnics, listen to concerts, pedal boats, play sports, or…for those more into nocturnal activities: slaughter animals. For years there’s been murmurs and reports of animal sacrifices and other bizarre rituals in the park. but lately, there appears to be a steady uptick, unless the recent discoveries are just being mistaken for homeless delicacies. Read more »
Editor-in-Chief:
