Beck suddenly hates Philadelphia so much, because they’re so mean for dissing him and the constitutional principles he supports. As the folks at Think Progress report, Beck has since smeared the city of brotherly love–telling his audience that it is a terrible, dangerous place where you never want to be ever, because you’ll get killed in “the killing streets.” If this is true, it’s because now you will have to avoid angry, armed Beck supporters who are pissed off that they can’t listen to “The Glenn Beck Hour” or whatever it’s called while they’re driving.

As for Hannity, he’s apparently been quiet. Which makes Beck look even worse, because when Hannity comes off as being classier than you, you are failing large.

Philly isn’t the only loss these two have experienced in recent months: Beck lost WOR in New York a few weeks ago, and Hannity lost a market in Utah. Could these guys be on the outs? Hmmmmm.

Beck has a strange kind of psycho crybaby appeal, so his fame makes sense in a way. But I never understood how Hannity got so far: he has nothing distinguishable about him except for a permanent squint.

Well look at this little gem that’s just been sitting out there on YouTube since last November virtually unnoticed: it’s Glenn Beck with his sidekick and a chimp in an ad for some horseshit morning zoo radio show on some horseshit Phoenix, Arizona radio station that originally aired in 1986. If by chance you thought that there was no way you could possibly loathe Glenn Beck any more than you already do, wait until you hear him speaking in his radio DJ voice.

As you’ll see, not much has changed with Beck in the last 23 years…he’s still a tool’s tool. And I know what you’re thinking…”too bad the chimp didn’t bite his big, stupid face off,” and to that I say shame on you! Shame on you! Well, not really.