Why? Because he posts nonsense every 15 minutes or so that makes no sense to no one other than, presumably, Bronson Pinchot. It’s as if he’s monkey that’s been left alone in a room with a mountain of cocaine and now he’s snorted it all is just slinging his feces all over the place. Case in point:

Tumblr didn’t wake this morning no matter how hard I shook it. We are in the Emergency Room now and, frustratingly, all the humans seem to have priority for some reason; so Tumblr is lying in my lap weak and ill and close to death. I will have to think of something to tell the nurses besides the truth, which is that I used Tumblr to its breaking point. I tried to buy a place in line from an old lady with some sort of vertebra issue — I didn’t pry, although her neck was Z-shaped — by peeling off some fifties, but her kids caught us in the act of making a deal, which included some Ativan and a neck rub. For me. I hope Tumblr makes it. Wait — here come a pair of twins whose de-fusing has caused unexpected (and messy) complications. I’ll see if the roll of fifties works on their parents, who look distracted.

And on and on and on it goes. The guy has spent the past 24 hours just queefing out nonsense all over the place. So congratulations Bronson Pinchot…in a span of approximately 24 hours on the internet, you’ve managed to become not only the most annoying celebrity blogger of all-time, but the most annoying blogger of all-time period. That’s some rather extraordinary talent right there my friend.

YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG!

Now please, crawl back into whatever hole you’ve been hiding in for the past 20 years. You had a great chance to re-establish yourself, and you fucking blew it. Go away. Or, as Cody Nicholson so eloquently put it in True Romance…”You’re an actor. Act, motherfucker!”

Earlier in the week I ran across a quote attributed to legendary photographer Sam Haskins. It goes: “A photographer went to a socialite party in New York. As he entered the front door, the host said ‘I love your pictures – they’re wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera.’ He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: ‘That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove.’” This quote got me to thinking a bunch about modern photography, more specifically on how it seems, at least to me, that the proliferation of digital cameras is killing it.

Now, let me stop right here before I go any further and issue this disclaimer: I’m not a photographer or any sort of photography connoisseur. No, but what I am is someone who enjoys capturing moments in photographs and who has a deep appreciation for photographic talent. I find it awe-inspiring, in fact. To get a glimpse of an image that, for one reason or another, speaks to me can leave me filled with an odd combination of admiration and envy.

So, with all of that said, let me try to explain why I personally think that advances in digital photography technology is killing photography, an assertion I’m sure many would argue with seeing that digital technology opens up the field to more people than ever before. And that’s, I think, part of the problem.

You see, I just think that there are too many damn people taking pictures these days, and the ineptitude of these people dilutes the amazing work by the true talents. On top of that, modern photo retouching software can make even the most inept photographer look like Stephen Klein or AnnieLeibovitz . It’s just kind of sad to me. The true artists in this field are being kicked into the ditch by technology, something I think the quote I cited above gets right to the heart of.

But what saddens me the most about the proliferation of digital photography technology has less to do with professional photography than it does with personal photography, something that I think it’s taken a lot of the fun out of, for me and many others. You see, I, like everyone else these days, own a digital camera. A nice, fancy one at that. The one I purchased last year, just like the one prior to it, was one that I researched heavily and put a lot of thought into purchasing and spent, what was for me at the time, a lot of money on it. It was in no way a whimsical purchase. Now here’s the problem…I rarely use it.

Why that is is something that’s had perplexed me for some time. “Why aren’t I using this camera to take pictures as frequently as I used to?” is something that I’ve often found myself wondering. And then, recently, it hit me…taking pictures digitally just isn’t as fun as taking pictures with film. The immediacy of digital photography, being able to turn a camera over and examine the photo on the display screen, has just destroyed it for me. There is little mystery involved in taking pictures any longer. The anticipation of dropping off a roll of film to be developed to see what potential treasures are hidden inside of a tiny canister is long gone, sadly, and that’s arguably what was most fun about taking personal photos with film…standing in the store, looking through the pictures after paying the clerk with a big, goofy grin plastered across your face, thinking “Oh my God I can’t wait to show this to so and so.” That’s all gone now.

As I write this I’m sitting at a desk in my bedroom typing on a laptop computer. Just off to the right of my laptop is my digital camera. Looking at it now, I can see traces of dust strewn across its back screen, damning evidence of my rarely using it. Still, I often find myself thinking, “I really need to start taking pictures again,” but I rarely do. That was never the case with film cameras. I always had a camera on me, no matter where I went, even if it was a disposable model. Digital technology has done to photography what internet porn has done to seeing a spectacular set of titties in the flesh. Ho-hum. Big deal.

At the risk of sounding a bit too much like Andy Rooney, I really wish we could just go back to the old days of doing some things, and photography is certainly one of them.

(The photo above was taken by an amazing photographer based in Austin, Texas that I admire greatly…her name is Amy V. Cooper, and this photo of the interior of New Orleans musician Clint Maedgen‘s apartment just after Hurricane Katrina passed through town is one of my favorites of all-time.)

Email Cajun Boy at cajun@animalnewyork.com

Earlier today, as I plowed through my extensive collection of bookmarked online information sources, I made my daily stop (Well, not really) over at Hudson, New York’s Register Star, the newspaper serving the fine folks up in Dutchess and Columbia counties, where apparently it’s a painfully slow news day.

Yep, what you see above is totally it. Just a guy pulled over by a state trooper for God knows what. It’s really up to you, the reader, to speculate recklessly as to what exactly this driver did to get pulled over by a cop. Did he carelessly toss a McDonald’s bag containing the remains of a McGriddle sandwich into the ditch on the side of the road? Was he screaming “you’re a soul-raping squash-face” into his cellphone at his wife? Was he swerving across the lane divider as the teenage runaway hooker he picked up at the local Gas-n-Go brought him to a volcanic climax with a mouth yet to be touched by modern dentistry? We’ll never know I guess. It’s up to all of us to always wonder, “Just what did that guy who got pulled over on Joslen Boulevard do?”

I will give Paul Crossman, the intrepid reporter who filed the story, some credit though…never in my life have I seen a headline that so accurately encompassed the entire story:

State Trooper makes traffic stop on Joslen Boulevard

Journalism!

(Ed. note: I’m not one of those people who gets a kick out of mocking and ridiculing old media outlets. However, this one just couldn’t be passed up. Now, on the other hand, some blogs/bloggers would take this story and immediately queef out a “Six Greatest Routine Traffic Stops of All-Time” listicle, and frankly that’s even more fucking retarded the story itself.)