Just when you thought nothing contained in any of the videos currently circulating featuring painfully retarded Sarah Palin death-cultists could make you feel any more compelled to pack up your vegan cookbooks and move to France, here is “Palin man.”

Really, there are no words I could possibly add to this.

Here again, ladies and gentlemen, is the “gotcha” liberal media engaging in their devious liberal shenanigans by trying to make wingnuts look stupid by asking simple questions like, “Why do you like Sarah Palin?” and “Which of her policies do you like the best?” How dare they!

So here, once again, are a bunch of “real Americans,” expressing their love for Sarah from Wasilla while also explaining how Obama is the secret bastard son of Chairman Mao at a Going Rogue booksigning.

Oh, and look, God has sent the wingnuts a Sarah Palin clone down to earth to take her place should some harm come to her, a clone he presented to the world and one of Palin’s book signings.

God help us all.

Image via Wonkette

OMG OMG OMG! I can’t think of a better way to bring “Sarah Palin Week in America” to a close than with this here video. Seriously, this is perfect in ways that I can’t even really articulate.

So here’s the setup: All week, Trixie Klondyke has been storming through Americaland to promote her retard manifesto, Going Rogue, which apparently is British slang for unprotected anal sex, and her deranged death-cult followers have been camping out all night at Borders and Barnes and Noble to get their copies signed by the Golden Twat of American Conservatism herself at all points along the way.

So the other night Palin was in Noblesville, Indiana (No, I’ve never heard of that God-forsaken place either!) where the first thousand people in line were given wristbands that were supposed to guarantee that their books would be signed by the Warrior Princess after they stood in line for hours. But Saucy Sarah decided she was tired after about 700, so she decided to pack up the Going Rogue Express and roll out of town to head to some other shithole populated by “real Americans.” In other words, she quit! Mutiny then broke out with hundreds of wingnuts surrounding the bus to boo and chant “sign more books.”

Some of Palin’s shit-upon followers aired their displeasure on her Facebook page. This one from a guy named Jordan Harris was my personal fav...

I just spent 9 hours of my day, $40 of my hard earned money on two of your books, and took the whole day off work to watch you jump on a bus and throw a half-heated wave to the crowd you were avoiding.

I have never felt so disrespected. How can you claim that you are different? You aren’t. You are just as selfish as everyone else in Washington. It breaks my heart. I thought you might be the answer to the turmoil this country is under but you aren’t. You just slapped hundreds of Hoosiers in the face. The hard working type of people that you claim to represent.

You say in your book that you chose to sleep well over eating well. At the end of the day I know that you don’t care that you wasted the whole day of some 20 year old college student who lives on their own. I understand that all that matters is that I spent my money on two of your books. I’m sure your eating well. You certainly have no reason to be sleeping well.

Ha! Serves you right for being stupid Jordan. Perhaps one day you’ll learn that when you play with a fiery Alaskan maverick, you might get moose dung flung all up in your grille. Or something like that.

Via Eric Spiegelman

Oh Jesus Christ! Here are a group of Trixie Klondyke’s death-cult followers, waiting in line at a shopping mall in Michigan, anxiously waiting to meet the Golden Twat of American Conservatism herself.

Of course, they’re also there to buy the most important piece of literature since the Jesus Christ and Ben Frankin locked themselves in God’s chateau overlooking the Grand Canyon to write the Federalist Papers, and they’re just as blissfully ignorant and hopelessly misinformed as you’d expect them to be. Watch as MSNBC’s Norah O’Donnell dives deep into the heart of darkness to uncover this sort of nonsense:

Norah: So why do you like Sarah Palin?

Fellow Palin Death-cultists: YEAH!

And really, could anyone writing a parody of Palin and her followers script it any better? I think not.

Oh, and if you look closely, you can see that Santa Clause is waiting in line with a balloon reindeer to meet Sarah too.