When it comes to shopping at fancy pants boutiques, the customer is never right. In fact, they’re often treated as a nuisance that is just there to distract the clerks from drinking lattes and playing with their iPhone behind the counter all day.

When exactly was it, that these little retail bitches were endowed with such a false sense of entitlement?

The ladies over at SRSLY. obviously understand my plight, and they demonstrate it awesomely in this first clip of their newly released web series: SHOPGIRL. Just one more reason to buy all my holiday gifts online this year…

The exterior of Hollister’s latest local retail palace has 179 flat-screen televisions that play a live beach video from sunny Southern California. Artistic!

Just in front of the screens are “infinity” pools that push the illusion further, making the front of the store seem to be waves of the Pacific Ocean breaking on a Manhattan street.

“The coolest thing is when it’s at 5 or 6 p.m. in New York and starting to get dark,” [a spokesman] said. “The afternoon sun from Huntington Beach really illuminates the street.”

It’s like the ninth wonder of the world or something, after the first seven wonders (Gardens of Babylon? Pyramids of Giza? I don’t know) plus low-fat donuts.

Show your gratitude for Hollister’s public display of brand innovation and stop by to purchase some of their “laid-back, effortlessly cool” wares for the holidays. Your cousin Tammy dresses like shit, and Grandpa Mike could use some new body wash (he smells too much like pigs in the blanket); Hollister’s fashion solutions can resolve those issues. And if you’re reading this post off an Ohio computer, please travel to NYC on a tourist visa as soon as possible to watch the waves video and also visit Times Square.

Urban Outfitters, one of the leading retailers of plagiarized t-shirts and clothing designs, is now selling color customized fixed gear bikes. Partnering with Florida-based online bike store Republic Bike, the new retail chain’s website offers customers an online interface to easily choose a garish combination of colors for their $399 ride. The new 24-pound bikes are then pieced together on a first-come first-served basis and shipped out. But so far, the Urban Outfitters Bicycle Shop hasn’t exactly won the support of the biking community. Their take below.

“Great. There goes the neighborhood. Why why why???”
— Don’t hate/love the Gazette

“…it seems the general consensus is that they are the inevitable pre-packaged walmart version of hipster bikes, and overall, purchase with a very you-get-what-you-pay-for kind of caution. hmm, a deal not unlike the shoddily-constructed clothing from urban outfitters – but i still shop there.”
— Blueberry Bike

“Fixed Gear Apocalypse—Is this what the Bike Snob has been referring to all this time?”
— Bootleg Sessions

“At the end of the day, bike culture is more important than car culture and people are going to, for the first time ever, ride a bike because it’s cool and because it’s transportation. That’s what’s most important. The cooler it is, or hipper, to ride bikes, the better off we’ll all be!”
— Prolly is Not Probably