ANIMAL » the view

Watch Whoopi Goldberg Impersonate a Retarded Version of Herself

Bucky Turco — Mon, 29 Nov 2010 23:15:45 +0000

Recently on The View, Whoppi Goldberg said that those who protest the TSA’s invasive new screenings at airports are conducting an “act of terrorism” by disrupting air travel, making even right wing zealot Peter King sound almost reasonable.

Not surprisingly, Elisabeth Hasselbeck jumped in and happily agreed like a jiggly bobblehead and was sure to name-check the two guys who launched the We Won’t Fly website.

Breaking: Obama Denies Knowledge of Snooki

Bucky Turco — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 16:52:34 +0000

Barack Obama taped an appearance on The View that aired today and while discussing meaningless fodder, was asked about Jersey Shore miniature and John McCain supporter, Snooki, to which he responded: “I gotta admit I don’t know who Snooki is.” Lies! Just a few months back he read a joke that included her name. Go ahead and try to explain that one Mr. President!

Carrie Prejean Refuses to Shut the Hell Up

Cajun Boy — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 19:15:29 +0000

Oh good lord…Carrie Prejean was on The View today braying on and on and on about her sex tape and how she’s a victim and how liberals hate people like her and Sarah Palin merely because they’re conservative women. Click through to watch if you’d like to loathe her even more than you already do.

The Kanye West Redemption Tour Rolls On

Cajun Boy — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 19:10:09 +0000

BREAKING: Kanye West has called Taylor Swift to apologize after she told the ladies of The View that she had not heard from the Twatzi since he raped her soul in front of the entire world on Sunday night. Details of the call are not known, but we can certainly speculate, can’t we? Oh yes we can!

Kanye: YO TAYLOR, IT’S KANYE. I WAS JUST WATCHIN YOU ON THE VIEW AT THE CRIB. WHAT UP?

Taylor: Um, well, hello Kanye.

Kanye: YO TAYLOR I’M SOOOOO SORRY BUT MY MOMMA DIED AND I’MMA A HUGE CELEBRITY.

Taylor: Yes, and…

Kanye: LOOK, I’M NOT GOOD AT THIS APOLOGIZING SHIT, SO IMMA WRITE A SONG ABOUT IT 2MRW!!!!!!! BOOOOOOYAAAAAAAAWWWWW!!!!!

Taylor: Well, thank you Kanye, but…

Kanye: YO TAYLOR MY MOMMA DIED AND I’MMA SUPERSTAR AND ALL DIS CAN JUST BREAK A BROTHA DOWN…TO DA GROOOUUUUNNNNDDD. AND NOW MY GIRL WON’T GIVE ME A TIP CUZ SHE ALL “WHY YOU SO MEAN TO DAT LITTLE WHITE GIRL” AND NOW EVERYBODY WANNA BOO ME BECAUSE I’M LIKE THE HITLER OF POP CULTURE AND SHIT, SO I’M SORRY TAYLOR. MAD RESPECT.

Taylor: Well, it’s okay Kanye, I forgive you.

Kanye: YO TAYLOR WE SHOULD CUT A RECORD TOGETHER ABOUT ALL THIS CUZ IT WOULD SELL MILLIONS OF COPIES….BOOOOYAAAAWWWW! AND THEN WE COULD MAKE A VIDEO AND IT WOULD BE ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME…ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME!!!!!!!!

Taylor: Well, I’ll think about it Kanye.

KANYE: AIGHT. MAD RESPECT AND LOVE TO YOU AND YOUR MOM TAYLOR, BUT BEYONCE HAD ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME…ONE OF THE BEST VIDEOS OF ALL-TIME.

Taylor: (Click)