The TSA has some great news for kids 12 and under. They may be able to keep their shoes on while going through security the next time they fly. Read more »
Over the weekend, a passenger boarded a Dominican Republic bound JetBlue flight out of JFK with three boxcutters in his bag that inattentive TSA workers somehow missed in the x-ray machine reports the Post. The man said he uses them for work and forgot they were there. Read more »
Because the public demands such information, the TSA’s Blogger Bob has written a post about the status of Louboutin spikes in the hierarchy of banned objects. What happens if you show up with such shoes at an airport checkpoint–will you be let through? Um, maybe! And what about other spiky stuff? Um, maybe not! Read more »
To combat the public’s disdain for genital fondling and pornoscans at the nation’s airports, the TSA would like to remind them that the machines have been very successful at capturing more than just America’s sexy curves. Federal officials say they’ve been quite effective at detecting small amounts of weed and other drugs or what they refer to as “good catches.”
India’s ambassador to the U.S., Meera Shankar, was singled out for a genital massage by TSA agents for the second time in three months, which isn’t nearly as bad as the reason why. According to witnesses, the diplomat was selected for wearing a sari, a traditional form of dress worn women all across the Indian subcontinent that screeners likely assumed was the kind of garb that gets Juan Williams scared. The incident prompted the State Department to reportedly issue an apology.
Proving that pornoscans and pat-downs are an effective way to detect innocent innocent amounts of weed, hip hop pioneer Kurtis Blow’s stash was confiscated after TSA agents at LAX spotted an “anomaly” in his pants while passing through the X-ray machine. A followup fondling produced a few grams of pot, so he was given a misdemeanor citation. But that doesn’t count as getting “busted” in his book, he even thinks it’s legal and posted the following misunderstanding of California’s law on Twitter: Read more »
Here’s an eloquently simple fashion solution for your holiday travel from Greg Leuch of F.A.T. fame — boxers and pasties with metallic arrows. They point at your junk. It’s patriotism… in your pants! Read more »
While we’re picking between pronoscans and grope-downs, people of the Netherlands are laughing up this TSA thing at the STRP art fest with Marnix de Nijs’s installation The Physiognomic Scrutinizer. As you proceed through the scanner, the computer matches your mug to 1 of 250 notorious personalities in its database — serial killers, celebrity druggies, etc. — and then recites all your deeds to the public. It’s a hoot!
The TSA’s increasingly kinky pat-downs are prompting more travelers to capture footage of their intimate moments at airport security checkpoints and while it’s perfectly legal, here’s some advice. 1) Don’t take photos of their monitors, virtually everything else is fair game. 2) Don’t let your cinematography interrupt or slow down the screening process. 3) Video isn’t as important as clear audio—see don’t “touch my junk” guy. 4) Frantically screaming and disrobed kids virtually ensure viral success. (Photo: Max Trombly)
Despite a massive deployment of reporters to the nation’s airports with the hopes of capturing a few skirmishes between privacy concerned travelers and body-fondling TSA agents, National Opt-Out ain’t disrupting shit according to the bloggy federal agency. Although protests are materializing around the country, they’ve been restricted to the web. (Propaganda photo: TSA)
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