When asked something about the mass nationwide protests and the unprecedented display of citizen opposition after Russia’s spectacularly fraudulent parliamentary elections, the PM gave this little speech. With a Mowgli analogy. Also, something about all protestors being spies?

“One must be respectful of all our citizens, even of those who have no perception of power in principle. However, there are people, who have a passport of a Russian Federation’s citizen but act in the interests of foreign states and on foreign money. We shall seek to establish contact with them as well. This is often useless and impossible to do. What we can say to them in such a case? ‘Come to me, banderlogs!’ … I’ve loved Kipling’s stories since my childhood.”

And then he giggled, because the implications that the ever powerful although suddenly unpopular politician who considers any social dissent an invasion of evil cartoon monkeys with “foreign interests” whose will he can defeat with his super powers of hypnosis (and dancing) is so funny. Ha. Haha. Oy.

I now propose “Come at me bro!” to be henceforth replaced with “Come at me bandarlogs!”

The primary six actors (who play dozens of characters) raking in $8 million a year didn’t want to see their earnings shrink to $4 million, so they bargained to accept a 35% pay cut instead, if they get a small percentage of those sweet merch billions that creators Brooks and Groening are allowed to suckle at. FOX said nope. It’s 45% or 100%. The actors and the studio (who have repeatedly threatened to replace the cast with sound-alikes throughout the years) are in a negotiating impasse which could effectively mean the end to the longest running prime time TV series.

Now, despite of what we think about the diminishing quality of the series, looking back at these “FOX News is #1 With Racists” gags, don’t they somehow look a lot ballsier than they did in 2010? What’s changed?

Anyway, enjoy the Ren & Stimpy-esque couch gag. Make those good memories last.

It’s starring some proprietors/managers of a Russian restaurant, apparently, which is kind of like a normal restaurant but it serves cow tongue jelly and has mirrors and fake marble everywhere but no windows, because we don’t want you Americans to see what we’re doing. Muhahaw.

You will, kind of: ‘Russian Dolls’ debuts on MTV Aug 11 at 10:30PM.

Talking Points Memo reports that the show’s called “Ted Haggard: Scandalous”–the “scandalous” part probably being necessary, because who the hell remembers this guy anyhow, and maybe someone will watch the show if it’s got some “scandalous” elements to it? But Haggard’s supposedly got a new church and a new outlook on life that doesn’t involve doing meth or fucking dudes, so where does the scandal come from now? Perplexed.

“Despite his transgression, which Haggard says was a mistake and no proof of homosexuality, he is still married,” TPM reports. Haggard reportedly met with his methy manfriend for three years–that’s not a “mistake,” that’s a pattern. But whatever–looks like he’s straightened up, LOL. And he’s even made his new church gay-friendly, so let’s cut him some slack. (Image: CupofCloud/flickr)

The trailer for gansterriffic 1920′s Atlantic City HBO series Boardwalk Empire is out and it looks like they’re doing a wolf in weasel’s clothing thing with Steve Buscemi.

There’s nothing intimidating about Steve Buscemi, so he’s an unexpected casting choice for a gangster extraordinaire/country treasurer “as corrupt as the day is long.” Hard to tell from the teaser enticements if Buscemi’s “bad guy” I-will-shoot-you and pre-whore-blow-job faces are meant to be a tad unconvincing, but they might be going for a bit of character tension here. In that case, sold! (Tentatively).

Written by one of The Sopranos writers and exec. produced by Martin Scorsese (with the long pilot episode directed by Scorsese as well), the Prohibition era series looks pretty ornate and exciting. Cast includes Paz de la Huerta. She’s all kinds of badass herself.

See also: More Paz de le Huerta, snippets of a more intimidating Buscemi in an older trailer below.

LA suburb-based swindler bought directly from counterfeit suppliers and rigged bids. The judge called the scheme “audacious in its scope” and “blatantly illegal.” Once her sentence is up, she should consider getting born again for a career in televangelism.

This new televised travesty scrapes together immigrant spawn from the few ex-USSR countries currently sporing in the Soviet ’70s time capsule that is Brighton Beach. But don’t worry, be they Ukranian Jew or Georgian or whatever the hell Dizik the newly casted “Vinnie” equivalent is, this gaggle of “Russian” bleached blondes and meat heads will surely prove that we Slavs can be as drunk, obnoxious and unconcerned of the image we project as fake Italians.

By the way, New Yorker, Russki is not the Russian equivalent of ‘guido.’ It just means “a Russian” in Russian. Awkward, no? |NYer|

Image: NYT

Image: Roger Ebert’s memories.