Well, what do you know, I am a little bit nauseous watching this, actually, though I can’t tell if it’s really because the crowd with their diamonds up is getting prismatic and refracted and spun in a cosmic superfluousness of “special effects” or that ‘Ye’s “naagh!!” brays are just particularly obnoxious in this live take. Or maybe because the last 20 seconds are kind of Marco Brambillo-ish, but not really?

Excuse me. [Brarrgff.]

Perhaps you prefer the Evan Roth version?

Focus, little one. You’re not here to recite concrete poetry. We might not be marketing cigarettes directly to 5-year-olds anymore, but let’s get this teeny-tiny focus group going with some fresh looks at corporate identities. Is the Republican party “parade elephant” too festive? Do your Mustangs, Pumas, Greyhounds all look like cheetahs? This is the stuff we need to know.

“Panda bears live out in the woods. I think.” I think I’m going to cry now.

Watch these stereotypes get more nostalgic about the clubs they frequented at fifteen, the station they got mugged at three times times and how they used to go see the beluga whales with their ma.

Comments? Complaints? Kudos?

Some bits of this caricature rings more “true” than others, like ew, The Post and “You have to go Brooklyn, it’s the law.” Others are such a vicious concoction of borough discrimination and pretend trendiness, I want to shove lots and lots of bagels down their throats until they stop, just stop.

This one’s by siblings Eliot Glazer (It Gets Betterish) and Ilana Glazer (Broad City). Ok, now, we can stop. I just watched the utterly terrifying “Shit Russian Guys Say” and nod-worthy but also terrifying “Shit People Say to Russians” and I’m done, this is done.

Pretend-zoom around Google Earth with tearjerker pit-stops for photos of various revolutionary protests (seems to be a hot topic these days). Then see videos of dead tech wizard’s postmortemly-viral inspirational speeches, etc. etc. While commenters are enraged at our “American” slanted interests and comparative apathy towards real world issues, you gotta hand it to this Google Search reel — there’s a lot less cats and Justin Bieber than expected.

Artists Tom Haugomat and Bruno Mangyoku made this minimalist video, replete with Ryan Gosling’s bloody badassery which is really a lot more enjoyable when it springs out at you through the course of the moody, sleek, well-tempered film.

Also, the artists scored it with Glass Candy’s Digital Versicolour track from Refn’s earlier Bronson. Side note: It’s not on the Drive Soundtrack, albeit the track does fit well for a Los Angeles set film, that with the city’s perpetually festering in ’80s nostalgia. Side side note: Stop saying that David Lynch’s soundtrack go-to-guy Angelo Badalamenti scored Drive because he didn’t and everyone knows you’re saying that because you watched a pirated, unfinished screener. For shame. Go to the movies. I’m trying to help you.

Nice, as always. That one bit with the wobbly warped kitty spawns antlers that grow kitty heads that drop said kitty heads that mutate into more… Shiver. Essentially, Kitty City is either eeee!!! amusing or eeep!!! terrifying, depending on whether or not you are aware that cats are, in their essence, assholes.

So, medicine is the tape that clogs up the outgoing stream of death, meanwhile you breeders keep pouring and pouring in births, celebrating your brood’s inaugural arrival on the questionably inaugural date. Scary.

Right as the world’s “level” crests ominously on the precarious edge, NPR’s soothing narrator assures us it’s going to “tapper off,” although I distinctly remember my middle school science teacher saying we’re all going to start eating each other, as per some rat experiment from the ’50s? Heh. Egh. Geh…

Some of our less adventurous comrades turned back. We soldiered on and walked from Silverlake to Eagle Rock, sticking mostly to the main way while tangent, slender, seductive tunnels were resisted/left for later. It was a lesson in geology (albeit, I didn’t catch what that inky, crazy-hued solid stone-cicles are called), entomology (herds of roaches), city engineering (“Should we give those people up on the sidewalk grate a scare? No?”), art history (“Pick-asso” graffiti) and watching your head (single strings of cobwebs dripped like long, sticky claws.) Fun. (Photos: Marina Galperina/ANIMAL New York)

There’s short soundbite from talk-singing French girl SoKo, who looks like this. Jonze gets a soundbite in too, ’cause they’re morbid fictional creatures in love!

Co-directed with Simon Cahn and shot at Paris’ famous Shakespeare and Company bookstore, this one’s fisted full with literary references and sparsely sprinkled with PG13 gags. It looks like they took their time, “working night and day animating the 3,000 pieces of felt Le-Tan had cut by hand.” Was it worth it? See above. I meant the video, not SoKo. Or did I?