ANIMAL » Williamsburg

Manhattan and Brooklyn’s Hippest Neighborhoods Have the Most Pizza

Bucky Turco — Fri, 09 Dec 2011 18:02:53 +0000

Using data from the NYC Health Department, it was determined that the East Village has the most pizza places in all of Manhattan while Williamsburg topped the Brooklyn list. Ridgewood took the crown in Queens, Williamsbridge has the Bronx on lock, and who really cares about Staten Island?

Williamsburg Concert Series Moving

ANIMAL — Fri, 07 Oct 2011 18:30:53 +0000

In an effort to appease its neighbors and reduce the number of wippet junkies spreading “panic” on the streets, the Williamsburg concert series will be moving from East River Park aka the “adult park,” to a vacant city-owned lot between North 11th and North 12th Streets, three blocks away from its current location.

Though this seems like a good use of underutilized space, and is closer to the original Pool Party location (RIP), some locals don’t think it’ll do much good.

“They’re still going to have to funnel upwards of 6,000 people into the neighborhood,” says resident Susan Fensten to the Brooklyn Paper.”[T]he era of quiet nights on the waterfront is over.”

Here’s What a ‘Drug Orgy Mob Nightmare’ in Williamsburg Looks Like

Bucky Turco — Wed, 21 Sep 2011 14:02:58 +0000

Following a performance by Widespread Panic at East River State Park in Williamsburg on Saturday night, crowds milled about the neighborhood, huffing on nitrous oxide filled balloons as helpless residents watched on in horror.

One woman described them as a “drug orgy mob nightmare” and shot footage of their lawlessness, which she promptly uploaded to YouTube with a description that sounds more like something you’d expect at the Gathering of the Juggalos than on North 7th Street:

Nitrous oxide dealers with huge tanks set up shop to booming business with no police in sight. The hissing sound you hear is coming from the nitrous oxide tanks.

Of course there were no cops. It was a rock concert, not a rap show.

Photo Encapsulates NYPD’s Traffic Enforcement Priorities

Bucky Turco — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 21:45:50 +0000

Officers in this squad car didn’t flash any lights or even sound off their Rumbler siren as a driver made a highly conspicuous, illegal three point turn on Broadway—a major thoroughfare—just across the Bushwick border in Williamsburg this morning.

Its been widely reported that the NYPD has been issuing less tickets for traffic infractions committed by motor vehicles, while increasing the amount of summonses for cyclists, cause clearly, they’re the ones creating all the problems. Could you imagine if they enforced traffic laws as rigorously for cars and pedestrians? The whole city would come to a screeching halt, literally. (Photo: ANIMALNewYork)

The Census Tells Us What We Already Know

Myles Tanzer — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 19:33:16 +0000

Thanks to the 2010 U.S. Census, we now know that Williamsburg is filled with the most pairs of roommates. We don’t think they were counted, but the number of Orthodox Jewish children sharing rooms could’ve put that neighborhood at number one very easily. The census also shows that central Staten Island, specifically those in 10314, has the highest percentage of white and married homeowners, making it the most boring zip code in all of America. Didn’t need a headcount to tell us that.

Ortiz Funeral Home Is Not Concerned With Its Broken Sign

Bucky Turco — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 20:01:19 +0000

It’s been a while since we checked in with the Ortiz ‘Fun’ Home in Williamsburg and almost three years later, not much has changed. It looks like they’re missing another letter in the fluorescent sign, which in this case, can be considered an improvement, but it’s also a problem that isn’t likely to be fixed anytime soon. “The owner knows. I can’t tell him how to run his business,” explained a representative reached by phone. True, but how about making a friendly suggestion?

AT-AT Invades Williamsburg

Bucky Turco — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 22:48:27 +0000

Using the epic snowstorm as a backdrop and some Photoshop, a Williamsburg resident re-imagines Williamsburg as the Planet Hoth. And like the Empire Strikes Back, Princess Leia would feel right at home sniffing coke there too.

City Fumes Over Camel’s ‘Williamsburg’

Bucky Turco — Wed, 17 Nov 2010 17:07:36 +0000

NYC Health Commissioner Thomas Farley wrote a letter to Camel and told them how wrong it is to peddle a Williamsburg brand of cigarettes: “I am particularly disturbed that this effort to recruit young smokers exploits the name and image of Brooklyn’s vibrant Williamsburg neighborhood.” You think he feels the same way about Spike Lee’s Absolut campaign in Bed Stuy?

Williamsburg Honored With Own Brand of Cigarettes

Bucky Turco — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 21:35:37 +0000

Some people aren’t happy that Camel, a cigarette brand known for employing a cartoon mascot more identifiable to kids than Mickey Mouse and Barbie over the past two decades, has launched a new campaign aimed at young people. Shocking, I know.

But instead of using a vagina lipped animal with a penis nose, they’re using names of “cool” locations around the country and of course “Williamsburg” made the list even though a “Bushwick” version would have been a lot more timely.

So, no need for outrage hip Williamsburghers, you should be happy that anyone even deems your neighborhood relevant enough to be considered in the first place. Plus, the FDA will be slapping even uglier graphics on the them pretty soon anyway.

Lambo BBQ In Williamsburg

Bucky Turco — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 21:54:11 +0000

Not even rich assholes should have to see their $350k Lamborghini go out like this (unless they work for BP). Spotted in Williamsburg near an off ramp for the BQE, this Italian made, work of art was either torched by thieves or caught fire on its own. NYS|