Last night I received the following hilarious email forward from an old friend of mine back home in Louisiana, who also happens to be a fervent Teabagger. The email contained a screed about how a photo of Obama putting his feet on the desk in the Oval Office proves that he doesn’t respect the office of the presidency.

I then took two seconds to type “Bush feet on desk” into a Google image search and look what was the first item to pop up:

See how easy that was! Anyway, here’s the text of the full hilarious email currently making the rounds of right-wing email inboxes:

Subject: Keep your feet OFF the furniture!

Does this photo of President Obama in the Oval Office convey anything to you about his attitude?

Would you speak with the Chief of Staff, your Chief Economics Adviser, and your Senior Adviser with your feet up on the Resolute Desk – a gift from Queen Victoria to President Rutherford B. Hayes in 1880?

We should inundate the White House with emails demanding he keep his feet off of our furniture.

This arrogant, immature & self-centered man has no sense of honor, or of simple decency.

While this posture is disrespectful in any culture, it is absolutely never done in any executive setting.

Further, in over half of the cultures of the world, it is recognized not only as disrespectful, but as an extreme insult.

He thinks of himself as a king — and not as a servant of the people, humbly occupying our White House for his term in office.

Electing him was an enormous mistake — and will cost us in many ways, for generations.

Ha! This is amazing and so typically retarded…this conservative woman, “Bunny,” called into C-Span today to say that she was taking down her Christmas tree and all her Christmas lights in protest of the Senate passing a bill to help the poors get health care on “God’s holiday” because, you know, God hates the poors.

So instead of spending the holiday with her family, Bunny will sit alone in her home that reeks of moth-balls and read passages of Sarah Palin’s dumb book, Going Rogue because Regis and Kelly will be running a re-run. Bah-humbug!

Here is a heart-warming story of true Christian fellowship at Christmas. Remember a few days ago when Sen. Tom Coburn called on his fellow wingnuts to pray that a Democratic Senator would drop dead, thus making them unable to vote to break the filibuster on the health care bill?

Well the wingnut masses definitely took it seriously and did some hardcore praying to Jesus, and when one Republican Senator (James Inhofe) didn’t show up for the vote afterward, this one wingnut was sure that God got confused, as God often does, and misunderstood the pleas for help from his flock and inadvertently killed a Republican instead of a Democrat. So the wingnut called in to C-Span and started to cry over God’s potential blunder.

My only wish is that the host would’ve responded by saying, “Yeah, Inhofe’s dead…pray harder next time numbnuts.” Also, how ridiculous is it that it’s virtually impossible to tell whether or not this was a prankster due to the fact that the right-wing in this country has become so ridiculous that it’s entirely plausible that this could be legit?

A recent poll found that voters are more likely to vote for a candidate running under the Tea Party umbrella than they are to vote for a Republican candidate, meaning that the wingnuts will use this as validation of their wingnuttery and thus force the party even further to the fringe and away from the mainstream. The poll also indicates that America is fundamentally retarded, something most of us already knew, but whatever. |Politico|

So there’s this video game, “Dragon Age: Origins,” in which a man and an elf bone each other silly inside of a tent. Predictably, this is not setting well with the Jesus freaks, who are now demanding that every person purchasing the game read Sarah Palin’s new book to set them straight. Or something. |World Net Daily|

While hope may be fading fast on the left, it’s sort of hilariously comforting to know that the wingnuts on the other side are still hellbent on hurling themselves over the side of a rocky cliff.

For instance…now they’re demanding a “purity test” be administered to all candidates seeking the support of the national Republican Party in the hopes of forcing all of the pussy moderates out of the party, effectively transforming it into one gigantic collection of “real American” Jesus freaks.

The proposal being put forth for vote by the RNC is sponsored by the same group of jackasses who earlier called for the Democratic Party to be renamed the “Democratic Socialist Party.” Here is their list of ten demands for candidates, of which they must be willing to pledge allegiance to eight in order to receive funding and/or endorsements from the national party:

(1) We support smaller government, smaller national debt, lower deficits and lower taxes by opposing bills like Obama’s “stimulus” bill;

(10) We support the right to keep and bear arms by opposing government restrictions on gun ownership;

The best part about this is that Ronald Reagan himself would probably fail the “Proposed RNC Resolution on Reagan’s Unity Principle for Support of Candidates.” Reagan raised taxes, embraced deficit spending, blew off the severity of carrying a national debt, and signed an immigration bill that conservatives still loathe to this day. I’m also pretty sure he would have signed the Brady Bill had it been passed while he was still president. What a bunch of morons.

Oh, did you hear about Glenn Beck’s big announcement over the weekend? He basically wants to be the wingnut version of Boss Tweed, taking politically ambitious mouth-breathers by the hand for the next 100 years or so and lead them to power, so that American can break free from the bonds of communism and science and the like.

Brian Stelter of the New York Times had a piece over the weekend in which Beck expressed his desire to hold voter registration drives and political conventions and “How to Run for Office” classes and whatnot for “libertarians.”

On Saturday he held a festive campaign-style rally in The Villages in Florida, north of Orlando, in which he promoted his recently released book, “Arguing With Idiots,” and announced another book to come next August filled with right-leaning policy proposals gathered from the conventions.

Mr. Beck did say the conventions would resemble educational seminars, and he emphasized that while candidates may align themselves with the values and principles that he espouses, he would not take the next step to endorse them.

In describing the conventions, he told the crowd on Saturday: “You’re going to learn about finance. You’re going to learn about community organizing. You’re going to learn everything we need to know if you want to be a politician.”

So I guess this means that we can look forward to more human dildo robots deployed by Beck like Doug Hoffman trying to take back America from Blackie McMuslimcommunist and ACORN. This should be fun.

OMG OMG OMG! I can’t think of a better way to bring “Sarah Palin Week in America” to a close than with this here video. Seriously, this is perfect in ways that I can’t even really articulate.

So here’s the setup: All week, Trixie Klondyke has been storming through Americaland to promote her retard manifesto, Going Rogue, which apparently is British slang for unprotected anal sex, and her deranged death-cult followers have been camping out all night at Borders and Barnes and Noble to get their copies signed by the Golden Twat of American Conservatism herself at all points along the way.

So the other night Palin was in Noblesville, Indiana (No, I’ve never heard of that God-forsaken place either!) where the first thousand people in line were given wristbands that were supposed to guarantee that their books would be signed by the Warrior Princess after they stood in line for hours. But Saucy Sarah decided she was tired after about 700, so she decided to pack up the Going Rogue Express and roll out of town to head to some other shithole populated by “real Americans.” In other words, she quit! Mutiny then broke out with hundreds of wingnuts surrounding the bus to boo and chant “sign more books.”

Some of Palin’s shit-upon followers aired their displeasure on her Facebook page. This one from a guy named Jordan Harris was my personal fav...

I just spent 9 hours of my day, $40 of my hard earned money on two of your books, and took the whole day off work to watch you jump on a bus and throw a half-heated wave to the crowd you were avoiding.

I have never felt so disrespected. How can you claim that you are different? You aren’t. You are just as selfish as everyone else in Washington. It breaks my heart. I thought you might be the answer to the turmoil this country is under but you aren’t. You just slapped hundreds of Hoosiers in the face. The hard working type of people that you claim to represent.

You say in your book that you chose to sleep well over eating well. At the end of the day I know that you don’t care that you wasted the whole day of some 20 year old college student who lives on their own. I understand that all that matters is that I spent my money on two of your books. I’m sure your eating well. You certainly have no reason to be sleeping well.

Ha! Serves you right for being stupid Jordan. Perhaps one day you’ll learn that when you play with a fiery Alaskan maverick, you might get moose dung flung all up in your grille. Or something like that.

Via Eric Spiegelman

A recent poll found that the majority of Republicans stole the 2008 election, despite the fact that he defeated the McCain/Palin ticket by over 8 million votes. How did Blackie McMuslimcommunist manage to pull this rabbit out of his African hat? He enlisted ACORN to do the dirty work, naturally.

Reports Talking Points Memo:

The poll asked this question: “Do you think that Barack Obama legitimately won the Presidential election last year, or do you think that ACORN stole it for him?” The overall top-line is legitimately won 62%, ACORN stole it 26%.

Among Republicans, however, only 27% say Obama actually won the race, with 52% — an outright majority — saying that ACORN stole it, and 21% are undecided. Among McCain voters, the breakdown is 31%-49%-20%. By comparison, independents weigh in at 72%-18%-10%, and Democrats are 86%-9%-4%.

You know how they say that a relationship partner who’s paranoid about cheating usually is so because he or see is cheating themselves? Well, I think the same logic applies here.

Pic via Look at this Fucking Teabagger

On Saturday night, Rep. Anh Joseph Cao, an Asian freshman Republican congressman representing a heavily democratic/black district in New Orleans, was the only member of his party to vote “yea” on the House health care reform bill.

Now, after being hailed by John Boehner as “a symbol of our future” just a year ago, the wingnuts are ready to string him up.

Here’s what Boehner said of Cao in a letter to House Republicans last December:

As House Republicans look ahead to the next two years, the Cao victory is
a symbol of what can be achieved when we think big, present a positive
alternative, and work aggressively to earn the trust of the American
people. Joseph Cao is a Vietnamese immigrant whose experience in America drew him to the Republican Party and its traditional commitment to freedom and reform. Working with like-minded Republicans such as Governor Bobby Jindal, he took an aggressive stand against corruption, offering a principled alternative to what voters were offered by the local Democratic establishment. Shrugging off conventional wisdom, he ran as a reformer in a district hungry for new representation in Congress. And he won…

The Cao victory is a symbol of our future. In the two years ahead, House
Republicans will demonstrate our commitment to reform by holding ourselves to the highest possible ethical standard – and, with new faces like Joseph Cao and John Fleming and the rest of the incoming GOP freshman class in our ranks, by presenting principled, superior solutions to the challenges facing our country.

Yeah, well, so much for that.

Angry teabagger tweet via Wonkette