Taxis, Toilets, and Mean Uncles: Your Daily News Panopticon

11.16.10 Lauri Apple

Illegal immigrants can now qualify for in-state tuition in California, after a court deemed it so. Your grouchy, xenophobic old uncle is SO going to bitch about this next week at the Thanksgiving dinner table, probably.

Conservative lawyer Ralph Kasarda complains, “California is not in sync with the federal mandate against giving Brownie points for being an illegal immigrant.” Yeah, like all the free lodging in federal detention facilities in they want, and separation from their families. STFU, Ralph Kasarda, if that’s your real name. |LA Times|

Other National Haps:

  • Sen. Lisa Murkowski‘s now officially ahead in Alaska, and probably reenacting this video right now. |NY Times|
  • House Rep. Charlie Rangel‘s “how are my ethics doing?” hearing was yesterday. How did it go? Well … he walked out, after saying he needed time to raise money for a new lawyer. His Etsy shop just isn’t doing that well. But his trial went on without him. We’ll see what happens. |NY Mag|
  • Now the Republicans don’t want earmarks because the Tea Partiers say earmarks are bad. Former earmark addict and Kentucky ducky Mitch McConnell says he’ll support a ban on them, because he’s in an earmark 12-step program and that’s what his sponsor told him to believe. |NY Times|
  • Rachel Maddow made a little movie showing John McCain contradicting himself over and over and over again. It’s 15 hours long and features a cameo appearance by Crispin Glover. |MSNBC|
  • Meanwhile, Jon Stewart criticized McCain for his “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” stance, which will please and amuse Stewart’s fans very much, to be sure. But it will do nothing to make McCain change his grumpy ol’ mind. |Gawker TV|
  • Breaking: Our federal debt is crazy and dangerous and could ruin us forever. |WSJ|
  • They can porno-scan you, they can touch you all over, and they can also search your laptop for suspicious pasta salad recipes. They’re your friendly TSA officers, and they’re here to help you stay safe. |NY Times|
  • Just saw a headline for “Magic Shuts Down the Grizzlies” and at first glance thought it might be referring to “mama grizzlies.” Kinda sad/pathetic. |NY Times|

Local Haps:

  • Police in 2009 fired the fewest number of shots, in the fewest number of incidents, in recorded history.” So what did they do all year, then? |NYPD Twitter|
  • Oh wait, it’s actually $5,000 in cab rides for a year. That’s about two trips to the airport if the new fare increases happen. Maybe a romantic sojourn to Newark as well. |NYC Gov|
  • Rep. Anthony Weiner said he’d change his tie between teevee appearances. |Weiner Twitter|
  • Pat Kiernan promoted something called the Big Squat, which sounds like the super-squat but big. |Pat Kiernan’s Twitter|
  • The mayor of Rio de Janiero came to town and gave Mayor Mike Bloomberg some clothes. |City Hall Twitter|

Photo at cafepress