Tila Tequila’s Descent Into Nazism, Parallel Universes, and Reptilian Illuminati Warriors

12.09.13 Andy Cush

This morning, erstwhile American hero Tila Tequila posted a badly photoshopped picture to Facebook. In it, she holds a pistol in her right hand, with her left on her hip, as the apparent light of God pours out of the cloudy sky behind her. She’s wearing a red swastika armband and the unmistakable cap of the SS uniform. She’s standing in front of Auschwitz.

While no one was looking, two years after her apparent conversion to Judaism, Tila Tequila has reached perhaps what was the only possible conclusion to her trajectory: as an incoherent, Hitler-sympathizing, Illuminati-evangelizing, anti-Semitic conspiracy theorist.

UPDATE: The image Tila Tequila posted to Facebook included the signature of Ben Garrison, a libertarian cartoonist who, for whatever reason, is the frequent target of 4chan’s /pol/ board. Garrison maintains that he “had nothing to do with the damn thing,” and at his request, we’ve removed the signature.

“Tilisis is the GODDESS of LOVE & WAR! Learn your facts!” reads the caption on this morning’s photo, apparently referring to a goddess alter ego she’s created for herself. She’s responded to a few of the inevitable negative commenters, mostly to call them “racists” and link to a post on her blog entitled “Why I Sympathize With Hitler Part 1: True History Unveiled.”

In this excerpt from the post, she wink-wink, nudge-nudges that current governments might have something to learn from Der Führer.

Here is a man who was not a coward, stood up for his country in a DESPERATE TIME OF NEED (unlike all of our cowardly leaders), and yet not only did he try his best to help his country and people get out of what was a time of depression, economic collapse, high unemployment, amongst many other things… he lost the war AND was painted out to be a monster after his death.  This is what breaks my heart.

On Friday, Tequila posted Daily Mail article about James Marcus Howe, a director who’d worked on her show and who was murdered in his Los Angeles home last month. Her lengthy caption seemed to revel in Howe’s death, and included the text, “GOD SEE’S [sic] YOU DIRTY FUCKING KIKES WORKING FOR THE SYNAGOGUE OF SATAN AND I HAVE RETURNED AS HIS MESSENGER!”

She’s been recording music, too. Her newest track, “It’s Going Down!” (touted as MUST HEAR on her site), sounds like it was recorded inside of a cardboard box with a Yak Bak for a mic.

Sample lyrics:

Jewluminati motherfuckers hate me
Oh no they don’t wanna date me
Nor you nor you nor you too
Worldwide Genocide blame it on the jews

Tequila also refers to herself as “Hitila” –an apparent portmanteau of, yes, “Hitler” and “Tila,” –and raps “So now they call me a Nazi/No, bitch, I’m just good at Yahtzee.”

As reprehensible as it is, I’d still rather listen to “It’s Going Down!” than her previous recording, which finds Tila “speaking in tongues” over a martial horn loop, or the one before that, which consists of the phrases “I’m gonna do a little soundcheck” and “Turn up the bass” repeated ad nauseam in a grating Ying Yang Twins whisper.

There’s plenty of garden variety anti-Semitism on Tequila’s blog Facebook, and YouTube channel–we must stop the evil Jews who run the world’s banks and media, that sort of thing–but the theorizing gets several orders of magnitude more batshit than that. I’ll leave you with this sad, insane excerpt from a post entitled “Dear Diary: The True Story of My Epic Life Battle in 3 Minutes!” about Tequila’s battles with reptilian agents of the Illuminati:

It was so strange because at that time I had no idea what was happening to me. All I knew was that it was all real. I looked up into the sky and a portal of light opened up! It was a circle and there were a bunch of Angels looking down on me, watching my battle. Then I flew up there to be with them and then it continues…. ’til this very day. Oh, except for the reptilians. After I slained 3 of them last year they have stopped bothering me. They DID however, ask me to join their team before the battle began. Of course I politely apologized before I turned down the deal and then BAM MOTHERFUCKER! The battle began!

(Top image: Nate Cepis/ANIMALNewYork)