Today’s News Is Like Crack Rocks in Your Shoes

11.17.10 Lauri Apple

A three-year-old from the Boston area went to preschool with 17 bags of crack in her shoe. It sounds like the guy who confessed to putting the crack there is covering for someone else.

The guy’s lawyer is saying as much. Says the Globe, “In the police report, the child is quoted as saying, “My mommy put it in my shoes and said it was candy.” Uh-huh. |Boston Globe|

Other National Things:

  • A study shows that talking about climate change in a “gloom and doom” way might backfire with the public. So when you’re telling someone that the ocean levels are rising, and the animals are dying, just laugh and smile the whole time. |Wash Post|
  • Maybe if we asked happy television artist Sarah Palin to talk about the dangers of climate change to disbelievers, they’d listen. She’s always smilin’. |NYDN|
  • Send New York Archbishop Timothy Dolan a congrats card–he’s the new, “bearish, ruddy, blackslapper” president of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops. And he’s a total hit with the hardcore conservative set, so he should keep reproductive rights bloggers busy for a few years. |Religion News Service|
  • Taco: It’s not just a food! It’s also an Internet plug-in that’s supposed to help you avoid being tracked by the cookies. |Privacy Lives|
  • Six Congresspeople are under investigation for spending too many taxpayer dollars during overseas trips. They include Republican Rep. Joe “You LIE!” Wilson of South Carolina and Rep. Eliot Engel, Democrat of New York. |WSJ|
  • Newt Gingrich is in Iowa, staring at cornfields and being a dick. |Gingrich Twitter|

Local things:

  • Number 7 train to Secaucus? That almost makes up for the Concorde not running anymore. |WSJ|
  • Rep. Anthony Weiner thinks Sybil might be the GOP candidate in 2012. She’s one of the Palin kids. |Weiner Tweets|
  • Mayor Mike Bloomberg‘s spending the day with “one of NYC’s favorite superheroes” and wants you to guess who it is. It’s probably either Paul Sevigny or Chloe Sevigny. |Bloomberg Twitter|
  • Some pugilistic guy loved working at UPS so much that he kept coming to work even after he got fired, and now UPS is suing him to keep him away. They don’t need volunteer weirdos, thanks. |NYDN|
  • Put your old bed in a plastic bag before throwing it out there on the curb. Do it or you’ll pay! Pay $100! This all has to do with bedbugs. |NY1|
  • New idea for a city program: Adopt-a-Bedbug.
  • To become the deciduous forest that it is today, the city’s planted more than 400,000 trees under MillionTreesNYC. |NYC Mayor’s Office Twitter|
  • Will former state senate leader Joe Bruno‘s conviction be overturned? Or will his conviction be overturned only so he can be convicted again? And will that conviction be overturned? |NYDN|