“WE’RE RICH, WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT!” Lamenting Miami Art Fairs From Afar

12.07.12 Marina Galperina

“BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH…” reads another transparent banner, tugged along by a plane above Miami Beach today, as a part of Adam Shopkorn-curated airborne art show for Art Basel Week. Not sure where the promised Richard Prince, John Baldessari, etc. are at, but this one’s a bit on the nose, innit?

This is bad.

The proper context to see those two banners would be… Rolling over awake on the beach, plucking a martini glass stem out of your back, scooping mysterious granular residue out of your eyelids and then, while as you’re frantically bury that phallus you don’t quite recall chipping off a Paul McCarthy and wrapping in Wayne Coyne’s popped bubble deeper into the sand, looking up through a fog of self-hatred and the splintering rainbow flare in your singed corneas to see…


… thinking, oh God, where are my pants?

But you’re spared any wanna-B.E.E. Miami chronicles from me, as we might be a little tapped out on trips this year. Or journalism.

So about that very insular and industry-specific event. With 140 or 180 or 190,000 galleries descended in Miami this week in various, gigantic fairs, satellite events, opulent parties, charity shin-dings, hot new art stuff — though there are some shows I’ve honestly been really dying to gawk at — you would have probably gotten something like “100 Art Butts I Saw Today.” We’re overwhelmed to be even sifting through others’ reportage.

Speaking of which, the exceptionally professional coverage by media compatriots in this utter insanity is greatly appreciated: Any front page of any big art blog with a travel budget ever right now. Kidding. But for serious this time: Big ups to team Hyperallergic (and our shared Kyle Chayka) for finding things, as well as Art Fag City and L Magazine for the accessible, stellar commentary on the art, the bullshit and the sexy sex. We salute you.

Now back to those fucking banners. Are you serious? If this is a commentary on the entire “art”/”party”/”rich people who can afford art partying” affair, that banner’s most definitely part of it. It’s either so self-refferentially, self-regurgitatingly meta it’s basically eating shit or… someone trolled, hard. Nice trolling.

(Image: Interview Magazine)