Who Wants a Severed Head of the Patron Saint of STDs?

05.24.11 Marina Galperina

Ireland wins! This auction item is crazier than Marilyn’s vag-bones sprinkled with Elvis hair wrapped in a Unabomber sweatshirt. A rotting skull of St Vitalis of Assisi is being auctioned next weekend. Young Vitty over here was a licentious fuck-a-lot deviant who repented, became a Benedictine monk, was venerated as the patron saint of venereal diseases and has been sitting in a display case in someone’s hallway.

It’s a bargain, estimated at $1100-$1700. Score! Start bidding, America. So what that the GOP is strangling Planned Parenthood funding nationwide? Let’s just buy Captain Crotch-rot’s head and pray at it!