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You Can’t Call Anything ‘The New York of Canada’


07.10.12 Joshua Rivera

Scientists and archeologists are all terribly excited about the recent unearthing of an unusually large settlement in the Canadian town of Whitchurch-Stoufville. Called “the Mantle”, archeologists and the press alike have christened the find the pre-colonial “New York of Canada”— as the settlement in its sixteenth century heyday supported a remarkably large population of nearly two thousand people with signs of commerce and trade all in a space about the size of Manhattan. The Mantle, while an incredibly significant find, bears the sad misfortune of being located in Canada, and while it’s very exciting to see evidence of such a thriving and complex Native American settlement established well before any Europeans had a clue as to how to even feed themselves out here, let’s not get crazy and compare something Canadian to New York City. These bookish scientist types should quit with the hyperbole and get back to punching Nazis. Doesn’t anyone know how to do archeology anymore?