Ever wonder what it takes to rule Twitter? A team of researchers from the Georgia Institute of Technology have reduced the art of increasing your followers to a simple science. After studying 500 different (non-celebrity) Twitter accounts over a period of fifteen months, they concluded that the most popular Twitters are, most importantly, those that are cheery and easy-to-read. The results also showed that those with the most followers tended to tweet interesting news “tidbits,” as opposed to focusing solely on themselves. Sorry guys, but apparently strangers don’t want to read your grammatically inept bemoanings over the shitty service you had at #brunch.

Finally, they concluded that those who directly engaged their followers via retweets and mentions also scored more popularity cred. So depressing, standoffish, self-centered, and confusing tweets aren’t what it takes to be crowned Twitter Prom King or Queen?