Let “K” show you how. Because who isn’t turned on by the idea of sitting naked in front of a rickety plastic ye olde computing machine, indulging in the cam-free web of anonymous eroticism, typing into an anonymous chat room:

K: i’m very horny and im looking for some good cybersex are you interested?
B: yesssssssssss

This comp tease excerpt comes courtesy of the Found Footage Festival, currently touring around the UK. Their other popular “tutorial” videos include a vomit-inducing guide to“seducing” women with hypnosis, computers how do they work, and “how to be a real man” by punching your friends in the face because something about Jesus.