According to a non-sarcastic headline on Russia Today, “Moscow authorities promise to protect student campuses from internet porn.”

The limitations will be imposed in line with the recently introduced Russian laws on information, on protection of children, and on countering extremism.

As part of Moscow City Hall’s massive $20 million plan to equip college campuses and dorms with free unlimited wifi, the Kremlin propaganda channel is happy to inform you that there shall be no pornography.

There will also be no “torrent sharing programs and protocols used in online games” and nothing that “denies family values and justifies unlawful behavior.” That, presumably, means nothing gay and no cursing (which was recently banned in all media and entertainment across Russia.) Political dissent and opposition blogs could easily fall under the illegal “extremism” category.

The college-attending youth of Moscow have an alternative — pay for their own modems and their own internet. Even then, the new restrictions on information have fucked that internet. The Russian government already has the authority to block entire sites and social networks for any content it deems “extremist” (including criticism of the Russian government) and — since the massive “blogger law” crackdown — anonymity is dead.