The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014)

Wes Anderson’s newest film minces/gallops inside/around a hotel, its visitors (rich hags, writers), staff, proprietors, and one particular concierge whose professionalism is so divine and immaculate, it brings a tear to your eye. And then, the other eye.

ALL PERFECT EVERYTHING: 5.0 out of 5.0
    
This is Wes Anderson’s most opulent feat of blockbuster planimetrics vodoo to date. And this is Wes Anderson standing on top of a mountain like a Moses, commanding the world to split straight down the middle and bloom outwards in synchronous fractals of supernaturally-complimentary variations of powder pink and tan, while us humans scatter like horrified ants, only to find ourselves poised in perfect patterns, sputtering a most quirky dialogue:

☆*:.。. o☆*・゜゚・*\(^O^)/*・゜゚・*☆o .。.:*☆

CHARACTER BELIEVABILITY: 1.5 out of 5.0

  
Welcome back to the wonderful world of fascinating eccentric rich ppl ✲゚*。 synesthesia of various small depressing Eastern European and small war-torn Middle Eastern or possibly Asian countries *。✧ and it’s all more magical than ever, and this Guatemalan kid playing “Zero” grows up to be F. Murray Abraham w/ a slight tan 4 sum reason, v old Tilda Swinton wants yr dick and Dafoe will kill yr cat. I love it.

WES ANDERSON’S ABILITY TO KEEP HIS CHARACTERS FROM KILLING THEMSELVES THIS TIME: 4.5 out of 5.0

    
*CLAP CLAP CLAP*

(Graphics: Michael WeinfeldMore: All Minimalist Film Reviews