Are you ready to start your week with outrage? Well, here ya go…In what some are calling a blatant “Fuck you!” aimed at President Obama for calling on Wall Street to curb its outrageous bonuses, Goldman Sachs, which was saved from going under just over a year ago by taxpayer-funded bailouts, is set to pay CEO Lloyd Blankfein a record $100-million bonus. So when are the masses storming Goldman with pitchforks and gas lanterns? |Times|
In case you missed it, Somali pirates yesterdays attacked the Maersk Alabama for the second time in seven months, only to be thwarted by armed gunmen on board the ship. Now, you’re probably wondering to yourself, “When will the vicious scourge of Somali piracy ever end?” Well, fear not Sparky, because Nicolas Cage is in Africa right now trying to put an end to all this. Yes, that Nicolas Cage! Read more »
No, the headline above isn’t some clever metaphor. Some poor sap really did stab his girlfriend’s pet fish — that he gave her as a gift — during a domestic dispute, and she really did call the cops on him for it and he really did get sentenced to two years probation AND he really has to undergo a psychiatric evaluation AND he really has pay $617 in fines AND he really has to perform 80 hours of community service for KILLING A FREAKING FISH! This is just retarded in every possible way. Read more »
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